home
buy tickets
the show
read
press
schedule
contact
scam-o-matic
scam blog
(donate!?)


watch the video
BUY SOME COOL STUFF!
buy some stuff
. datapimp email

   the actual correspondence

top

I replied to a Nigerian Prisoner letter with this line:
Great! Do you have any toast?
And received the following reply:

Dean Cameron ,

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL,I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT BY REPLY MY MAIL. I PRAY THAT ALLAH SHOULD BLESS YOU.

MY BROTHER I WILL REALLY LIKE TO KNOW YOUR STAND IN THIS BUSINESS,I MEAN I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU ARE INTERESTED OR NOT?BECAUSE THIS IS THE ONLY MONEY I AND MY FAMILY ARE LEFT WITH, OTHERS HAS BEEN SIEZED BY THE NIGERIA GOVERNMENT.BEFORE THEY GET TO KNOW THAT I HAVE THIS TYPE OF MONEY.PLS IF WANT TO HELP ME PLS DO INDICATE BY CALLING MY SON ON HIS MOBILE PHONE:234-802-312-4016 I BELIEVE HE IS IN A BETTER POSITION TO CONCLUDE THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU BECAUSE I'M STILL UNDER RESTRICTION BY THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT.

THANKS,I AM EXPECTING YOU TO CALL HIM SO HE CAN GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS ABOUT THIS BUSINESS.

REGARDS,

MRS MARIAM ABACHA

... and it began...top


Tuesday, January 28, 2003

I am so excited to hear back from you. I have been telling my cats, Mister Snickers and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown, how we are going to help someone who needs help! They're a little upset because they think that "da da" is going to spend his millions from the insurance settlement. I assured them I wasn't and that Alaahh would be looking out for us and we would actually be rewarded by his supremeness with even more money than we already have!!!!

Mister Snickers (the grey kittykat with an attitued) sat in my lap and purred with delight. I think he was purring "praise alaahh and meow!".

Maybe not.

Irreggardless, I will try to contact your son today. I have a son, too. He lives in Downey, California. It sounds as if you have a very great relationship with your son. Mine seems to be too busy for me, except to make sure that his inheritance is in order. I've got a mind to just leave ALL of it to Mister Snickers and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown! (In the event of my death, they're going to get $100,000 a year until their nine lives run out (which I'm praying happen after my death; I couldn't bear the thought of losing them. I'm sure you understand, Achooba.))

Well, here's looking forward to finally speaking to your lovely son. Is he a heterosexual, too?

One final thing, I have three lovely avocado trees in my back yard. I would love to send you some Avocados! (one of the advantages of living in Florida is the year round fruits and vegetables!) Where should I send them?

I have peaches, too.

---
Dean Cameron

top


From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Tuesday, January 28, 2003 2:54 AM
To: Dean Cameron
Subject: URGENT

Dear Dean Cameron ,

greeting to you and your family in the name of allah, I'm very happy hearing from you again,i thought by now we should have finish arranging on how to make claim of the fund,but you did not call my son for more detail.

pls do call him today for more details:234-802-312-4016 call him any tim as soon as you recieve this message so as to start the process of claim immediately.

pls my brother i want you to take this transaction seriouse because this is the only money that i and my family have to survive now, all others has been siezed by nigeria government.

Pls try and call my son today.

Regards,
Dr Mrs Mariam Abacha

top

Found this photo in google pictures. Sent it along...

Achoo, hello!

Here is a photo of my PRETTY KITTY KATS, mister snickers(the gray bad boy on the left) and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown (the other one, natch!) because you've expressed interest in them. I still would like to know where to send the avocados (I would send you guuascomoloe but I don't think it would ship well to your Ally forsaken cuntry. So, I'll send the avocados. Of course, I understand that this is all on the QT, as we say here in Gator Country (that's Florida, to us locals!). Do you say "On the QT"? Fascinating.

Anyway, I am sending a copy of this email to your lovely he-man of a son, Timothy, as a way of reaching out and offering my assistance to you in your plight. I will type quietly and softly so as not to alert the authorities. We need to make sure you get out of that rathole safely, Arhcoo Murian! It's no place for a fine woman such as yourself. (I'm sure you agree, ma'am, and I hope I cause you no offense by referring to you by your full name. (I would never want to insult you; I consider myself now a sort of diplomat and want to represent myself (and, of course MISTER SNICKERS AND JOE JOE THE DANCING CLOWN) in the best, most professional light possible.) I think it's important, as your business partner, to get a bit familiar with each other. (you may, of course, refer to me by my nickname, THE HAWK, any time you wish. (THE HAWK is a nickname I was given during my years as an investment banker on "The Street" where I made my fortune.) Nicknames are good.))

(I get confused by the parenthesis sometimes. You?)

Where were we. I just had to shoo Joe Joe the Dancing Clown off of the couch. I can assure you that the term "KRAZY KAT!" applies %1000 PERSINT to Joe Joe the Dancing Clown. He is K-R-A-Z-Y!!!

My son, also a heterosexual, is also interested in this business venture. Though, I shall not release any information about you or your fine speci-MAN of a son until instructed to do so.

I've rambled on long enough. Here is the point of this bit of correspondence: The phone number you've given me has, once again, too many numbers. It begins ringing even before I finish dialing it. (Then that woman comes on "The number you have reached is not in service..." Don't you hate her condescending voice? (Condescending means to talk down to someone, by the way.) I sertanly hate her voice. Blech!)

So, please, mayhaps I could just give you my phone number and we could get started on this financial endeavor as I am most excited about it!

I love you!

Dean Cameron

Then they wrote this:

top

Original Message
From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2003 10:48 AM
To: Dean Cameron
Subject: ALLAH WILL BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

Dear Dean Cameron,

Thanks for your mail all content well noted, but i don't seem to understand what you are taking this business for! pls i mean what i'm saying,this is the only money i and my family are left to survive with. pls if you will help retrief this money from the security company pls do.

if you can not call him(my son) on phone pls talk to him through his email
Address:ibrahim001@consultant.com
i will realy be happy if you and him finalize every thing ,as you already know that my movement is still under strict survalance.

thanks,

MRS MARIAM ABACHA

top

More from me... Not one of my finest, but I think the "parenthetical section" is sort of great.

Thursday, January 30, 2003
Oh this is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, news, Choada Marriam!

I have not, however, heard from your fullsome manchild. I await contact from him with bated (quiet cat-like) breaths. I tried that phone number that you sent me and also a few combinations of the telephone number. (I was only able to make contact with a dry cleaners (they were somewhere outside of Baraboo, Wisconsin (I ended up in a very, very nice conversation with the gentleman (I said nothing about our arrangement, writing off my "dialing error" to the heartbreak of bursitis and a spastic colon (which I actually have!) who mentioned the freezing temperatures there in Wisconsin (I invited him and his wife, Joyce, to my home here in Florida as I have more than a few extra bedrooms available!) which prompted the long conversation I mentioned in a previous parenthetical) and as I have a dry cleaners here already to dry clean all of my suits (and Mister Snicker's "da-da's-gonna-take-you-for-a-walk-vest!") we began chatting about other things.(All mentioned previously, I believe.)

A spastic colon is no picnic, I tell you. Perhaps Allah will reward me after this investment opportunity is completed.

Again, you have not mentioned my offer of Avocados, so I will cease mentioning it. They probably wouldn't ship so well, either, I imagine. Oh, my crimony, my guaccosomolie is sooooooo good. I'll send you a recipe.

Do you need a place to stay once you arrive in this land? I have a sort of estate. It's humble, for sure, but it is on a few acres of land here. I employ a boy from Thailand, Kwan, who helps me out from time to time. I'm sure you understand.

Please, let me know what the next step is to be. I have not heard from your cherished child, my spicy senorita!!!!

I want to help you. I want to hold you. I want all to be light and piece for you and yours.

Do you think we need a code word? How about "Joe Joe the Dancing Clown is purring."

I love you!

---
Dean Cameron

They were a bit, um, confused...

top


From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2003 6:35 PM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: ALLAH WILL REWARD YOU

Dear DEAN CAMERON,

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL,I REALLY THANKS YOU SO MUCH,FOR BEEN THERE FOR ME AND YOUR FAMILY,I DON'T KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU NOW TILL I COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY I PROMISE YOU WILL NEVER REGRET HELPING A WIDOW LIKE ME.

MY SON TOLD ME THAT YOU SENT HIM A MAIL,AND HE HAS ALSO REPLY THE MAIL TELLING YOU THE NEXT LINE OF ACTION.

PLS TRY AND COMPROMISE WITH MY SON TO GET THIS MONEY OUT THE SECURITY COMPANY, THIS IS OUR LAST HOPE,AND I AM COUNTING ON YOU AS ALLAH SENTPERSON TO REMOVE ME AND MY FAMILY FROM THIS SITUATION.

PLS I WILL ALSO LIKE YOU TO START NEGOCIATING ON A VERY GOOD BUSINESS I WILL INVEST THIS FUND ON, TRY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, BECAUSE IT IS VERY NECCESSARY.

I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU THAT EVERY ARRANGEMENT TO GO AND CLAIM OF THE FUND IS BEEN MADE.

MAY ALLAH REWARD YOU,

MRS MARIAM ABACHA

Saturday, February 1, 2003
I think this person may now be fucking with me... I never got an email from "her son". Ah well... It was fun.

top

I still have not heard from your boy.

Here is my fax number 475018

Here is my famous guacsoamole recipe!

Joe Joe's Dancing Guacamole

Ingredients
2 ripe avocados
1/4 cup sour cream
1/2 tomato chopped finely
1/2 cup grated onion
1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice


Directions
Peel avocado and mash well. Add sour cream, tomato, onion, garlic salt, and lemon juice; mix well. Serve with Love!

No thanks for the recipe, though... check out the end of her letter to me! Love is requited!!!

top

Original Message
From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Saturday, February 01, 2003 1:33 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: RE: ALLAH WILL REWARD YOU

DEAR DEAN CAMERON,

HOW ARE YOU HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMIL. I SPOKE WITH MY SON YESTERDAY IN RESPECT OF THIS TRANSACTION,HE TOLD ME HE SENT YOU A MAIL WITHOUT RESPONSE FROM YOU,WHAT IS IS THE PROBLEM?

PLS MY DEAR I WANT THIS MONEY TO CLEARED FROM THE SECURITY COMPANY BEFORE THE END OF THIS MONTH. MY SON TOLD ME THAT HE REQUESTED YOUR WILLINGNESS TO TRAVEL AND MAKE THE CLAIM,BUT I TOLD HIM ALLAH SENT YOU TO COME AND HELP ME, THAT THERE IS NO NEED ASKING FOR YOUR WILLINGNESS TO GO AND HELP CLEAR THE FUND,THAT YOU HAVE ASSURE ME THAT EVERY THING WILL BE FINE.

HE SAID WHAT HE JUST NEED FROM YOU NOW IS YOUR FULL NAME AND YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION AND ALSO TO ENABLE MY FAMILY LAWYER TO SEND TO YOU ALL THE RELIVANT DOCUMENTS.

PLS MY DEAR I WANT YOU TO SEND TO HIME ALL THOSE INFORMATION HE REQUESTED SO AS TO START THIS TRANSACTION IMMEDIATELY.

IF POSSIBLE YOU CAN SEND THEM TO ME SO I CAN TANSFER THE INFORMATIONS TO HIM.

WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SWEET.

I LOVE YOU.

MRS MARIAN ABACHA

Monday, February 3, 2003

top

Okay, so the "son", Ibrahim, wrote me. I've been busy, so I didn't get to send him a message right away. The "mother" then wrote me another email.

The most amazing part of the letter from the "mom" is that she sends her regards to the cats!!!!!!! Sometimes life is really cool.


From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Monday, February 03, 2003 7:43 PM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: WHY THE DELAY

DEAR DEAN CAMERON,

HOW IS LIFE AND HOW IS EVERY THING HOPE COOL.MY SON TOLD ME HE SENT A MAIL TO YOU SINCE YESTERDAY WITHOUT AKNOWLEDGEMENT AND HE SAID HE USED HIS OTHER MAILBOX SINCE YOU COULD NOT RECIEVE THE MAIL HE SENT TO YOU THROUGH THE MAIL ADDRESS I GAVE YOU.IN THIS APEX, I HAVE GIVEN HIM MY PASSWORD TO ALWAYS REACH YOU FOR FAST CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION.MY DEAR, PLS TRY AND HELP ME OUT OF THIS PROBLEM SO AS TO TAKE MY CHILDREN DOWN TO YOUR COUNTRY AND LIVE THERE FOREVER SINCE THE COUNTRY WERE I WAS BORN, NOW DECIDED TO TREAT ME AND MY FAMILY LIKE ANIMALS.

MY SON (IBRAHIM) FORWARDED THE MESSAGE HE SENT TO YOU

TO MY MAIL ADDRESS WHICH IS AS FOLLOWS:

Dear Sir,

I am IBRAHIM ABACHA,son to DR.MRS.MARIAM ABACHA.I have the mandate of my mother to communicate with you as regards your interest in assisting us to secure the funds which my late father deposited into a private security company here in NIGERIA which has their branch in AMSTERDAM

Mean-while,the present civilian Government of chief Olusegun Obasanjo has not been good to our family.He has frozen all accounts both within and international and has also gone as far as confiscated all our assets to the extent I and my mother are presently living under the good will of our well-wishers.

To enable us conclude this transaction,we have to work hand in hand with the security company to achieve our goal and most importantly we need you to travel to AMSTERDAM to serve as the beneficiary since we cannot travel by ourselves to receive the box of the funds.

I have been told by my mother that he has onced forward to you my contact telephone number and you complained that you are unable to get through to me.Here is an alternative number to reach me.234-8033262593.As a matter of urgency,you are advice to call me on the above telephone number as time is of the essence.My mother has also forward to me today your fax number and I discover is not correct.Please endearvour to include your direct telephone number and your correct fax number for easier and faster communications between us when replying this message.

N/B:The box of the funds is still lying down in the security company here in NIGERIA.I shall instruct them to transfer it to their AMSTERDAM branch when you have agreed to travel to AMSTERDAM to receive it.Please treat with utmost trust and confidentiality as we are looking forward to a long and lasting relationship with you.Awaiting your call or e-mail.

Best Regards, IBRAHIM ABACHA.

N/B:I have sent you two mails before through my mail.com account and I have just been told by my mother that you did not receive the mails,then I decided to reach you through my hotmail.com account and I hope you will receive this.

PLS TRY AND COMPROMISE WITH HIM AND CONCLUDE THIS TRANSACTION THIS MONTH OF FEBRAURY IN THE NAME OF ALLAH.
I WILL SEND TO YOU MY PICTURE AS SOON AS YOU GET BACK TO MY SON IN HIS NEW EMAIL
ADDRESS:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
WITH POSSITIVE RESPONSE.

MY DEAR, HAVE YOU ENQUIRE FOR A SUITABLE BUSINESS WERE THIS FUND WILL BE INVESTED?PLS LET ME KNOW IT IS IMPORTANT.

MAY ALLAH GUID YOU AND YOUR FAMILY,

BEST REGARDS ,

DR.MRS.MARIAM ABACHA

N/B SAY HELLO TO mister snickers(the gray bad boy on the left) and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown

top


Then I wrote this. With a mention of Mr. Sterling, a t.v. show I'm working on. Also a mention of Penn and Teller.

Hello my new friend from South-of-the-Border and "Ole!".

Please forgive my tardiness in my replying response to you and yours (I am copying your wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, mother, Miss Morian BeNacho, who I hope will come and stay with me (as well as you and whatever family you may have) or one of my properties (modest, but lovely) here in beautiful, sunny Florida U.S.A. Irabahim, this phone number: 234-8033262593 DOES NOT WORK! I have tried and tried and tried. (I ever asked my heterosexual son to try it (don't worry, I have spoken not a word to him (even though I did feel him out and I am sure he would be very amenable to get in on this wonderful investment opportunity) about this transaction) and it did not work for him, either.

("Poppy!" he said to me "why do you waste my time with this telephone number that does not work!?" (sometimes his syntax befuddles me!) after the third attempt.)

Here is a phone/fax where you may reach me: 323 4-5018. It works, I know. I just got the people at Vanguard to fax most of my account info (I want to make sure I have this at my fingertips when we finally do (and I know we will (ask Allloh!) my new friend) make our connection!) the day I sent your senorita my initial e-mail!

Your loving and devoted mother (Single? Too soon to ask? Sorry! Forgive, please! A slip!) has forwarded me another message today (she is, as am I, frustrated at my tardiness in contactinnnge you) where it was mentioned that I will be travvvelling to Amsterdam.

This pleases me to no end. I was there a few years ago as a celebration when I helped my son sell his first business. I thought it high time that he know the pleasures of the flesh and Amsterdam was just the place for it, I tell you! (one of his "escorts" turned out to have a much different set of plumbing than the one he was lead to believe (not judging, just saying) yet we all had a fine meal together after the hilarity of the situation reared its comedic head. (Not a pun, just a phrase. PRAISE ALLLA!)

I do hope that your mesmerizing mother, Choada, has mentioned that my cats, Mister Snickers and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown (see enclosed photo (mister snickers is the one with the evil, evil (yet playful) grin) hope that's not a problem!) are, as they say, IN FULL EFFECT as far as their support of me goes. I explained (or "splained" as a Mister Ricky Ricardo would say) to them that their inheritance of $100,000 a year for the rest of their lives was not in jeopardy and they would be well taken care of upon my death. Mister Snickers (he should be named Mister Haughty (it would only confound him, though) what with his "KAT-I-TUDE", and all) even seemed supportive. I noticed him cleaning his fur at a brisiker pace than usual (as if he was cleaning himself for our future visitors (that's you, my new friend) and wanted to look his best!) and purred, purred, purred, purred through Friday's night of Television. (have you seen the new show, Mister Sterling on NBC? It is a WINNER! GREAT PERFORMANCES!) I was sad to see Providence go, but (as mentioned in previous parenthetical) Mister Sterling seems like a HIT WITH A CAPITAL H! (there is also a show on Showtime with that big freak loudmouth magician (and the cute little one who doesn't talk, poor fella) that is just a treat (decorum prevents me from mentioning its name (the initials are B and S (that should give you an idea) though) they're naughty like KATS!) also.)

Sometimes I feel lightheaded and sad at the same time. You?

No matter.

Please, my friend, I have rambled for too long, my friend.

The point is: Contact me. I would like nothing more than to help you and your muy caliente Mother.

Please take care, Ibarhim!

I love you.

How can I help?How can I help?How can I help?How can I help?How can I help?How can I help?

---
Dean Cameron

top

The "mother" sent me these photos and a note. Again, my love is now requited!!!


From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Tuesday, February 04, 2003 9:09 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: Attachment of my photographs.

Dearest Dean Cameron,

I am very happy you have contacted my son.Now there will be progress in this transaction.Attatched below are my photographs for your perusal of my person,and please always keep in touch with my son for effective conclusion of this transaction. May allah reward you my dear.

I love you,
Dr.Mrs.Mariam Abacha.

N/B:I understand my son has update you about what he was told by the cargo manager of the security company to assist in the relocation of the box of the funds to Amsterdam, please come to our help because I really want the box of the funds to depart Nigeria for Amsterdam so that I can have rest of mind, based on what has happened to all our funds before.

Then Ibrahim wrote back again.

top


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, February 04, 2003 3:08 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: URGENT ASSISTANCE.

Dear Sir,
Thank you very much for your mail response and your willingness to help.I am very surprise you are unable to get through to my telephone lines,I advice you should also try although it is difficult for you to get through.But since I have your tel/fax numbers,I will always be calling you.
Like I told you in my previous mail,the consignment at presently is still here in the security company in NIGERIA.However,I have concluded arrangement with the cargo manager to help us move the consignment to their AMSTERDAM branch for your onward collection and he made me to understand that we will be responsible for the transfer charges to move the consignment to their AMSTERDAM branch.The transfer charges which he told me is us$1,850.
Sir,please we need your help to pay off this transfer charges so the consignment can leave NIGERIA as soon as possible before it gets to the knowledge of our Government and confiscate it just the way he has done to all our properties and accounts.
Once again,thank you very much for your concern about me and my mother and we are looking forward to residing in USA with you till the end time.
However,you are advice to start making your travelling preparation down to AMSTERDAM to receive the consignment.Endearvour to update me about your travelling arrangement and when possibly you are travelling to AMSTERDAM.
Best Regards,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

N/B:Note that my mother is very happy to be associated with you.

top

Then I wrote more... Stalling, you see...

My good friend. I am getting my passport in order now. I have also checked on two flights from here to Amsterdam. I'm thinking of bringing my cats, but that might be more heartache than I'm prepared to deal with at this moment.

Are there hotels in Amsterdam (you haven't mentioned a city yet (so secretive, IBARAMAH!) (just joking) so I'm not sure where I'm going to need to go) that have cats? I'm thinking I could leave Mister Snickers (senor snickers en espanol!) and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown here if there was a hotel or three which already had a cat. Maybe you know.

I'm looking forward to Amsterdam. Maybe there is a prostitute or three who would like to sample some of me, I'm thinking.

They'd probably only love me for my wealth. Hah! I kid because I love.

I shall write more tomorrow, my good muffin!

I love the photos. Your mother is a lovely lady. I BELIEVE WE OWN THE SAME COUCH! WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT, SIRRAH!?!

Until tomorrow, when I have more time and less of a burning in my "down there" place and can concentrate more readily.

Praze Allha!

---
Dean Cameron

top

I get a little geography lesson from them. They let me know that Amsterdam is not, in fact, a country. But a city in the Netherlands... This goes unnoticed.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, February 07, 2003 6:33 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IS NEEDED TO PAY OFF THE TRANSFER CHARGES.

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your mail response.I was wondering why I did not hear from you,may be probably you were busy,is good hearing from you today.

The contents of your mail are well noted,but however I did not think that you understand the contents of my last mail to you very well.I repeat again,I have dialogued with the cargo manager of the security company to help us move the consignment to their AMSTERDAM branch and he made me to understand that we will be responsible for the transfer charges us$1,800.He said this sum must be pay to him as the transfer charges before he will help move the consignment to their AMSTERDAM branch.

Sir,this is the most important thing for now.My mother is very worried that the consignment is still here in NIGERIA.We wants the consignment to be out of NIGERIA as soon as possible before it gets to the knowledge of our Government and confiscate it just the way he has done to all our properties and accounts.

Sir,please without wasting anytime further,we need your urgent assistance to pay off this us$1,800 so the cargo manager can move the consignment out of NIGERIA to their AMSTERDAM branch.

You are travelling to AMSTERDAM,NEITHERLANDS.After you have assist us paying off this bill of us$1,800 for the transfer charges,the cargo manager will depart NIGERIA immediately with the consignment to their AMSTERDAM branch.He will contact you immediately he arrive AMSTERDAM and he has assured us that he will receive you at the airport on your arrival to AMSTERDAM so that you won't experience any difficulty in getting to them.All you need do is to furnish the cargo manager with your flight details when he shall give you a call from AMSTERDAM so as to enable him know when to pick you up from the airport.

Once again,we need your urgent help to pay off the transfer charges.Notify me when you want to send the us$1,800 for the transfer charges so that I can furnish you with the informations you need to send the money successfully.

May allah reward you for your great concern about my family and we are looking forward to residing with you forever in your home in USA.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

All I could think of was the following question:

Does the account manager take paypal?
---
Dean Cameron

top

I got no reply and also decided that I wanted to seem pushy and excited, plus, a friend sent me a funny foto of a cat. Seemed like "Ibrahim" might want to see, right? So:

Irabiahm,

Waiting for your reply regarding Paypal.

In the meantime, I took my pride and joy, Mister Snickers, to the groomers. I said "Go wild! Surprise me! Mister Snickers is feeling wacky, wacky, wacky and so am I. I may be traveling to Amsterdam!!" (I of course, made no mention of our top secret arrangement) and this is what Luiz (not a heterosexual like you and me) came up with.

I think it is (as Luiz says) "ABSOLUTELY spanINE!!!"

Would love to hear your comments and your answer regarding paypal, my sweet.

---
Dean Cameron

top

No mention about the killer "Lion Cut". Bastards! But "Ibrahim" did reply rather quickly...


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, February 07, 2003 10:39 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: SEND THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your mail response.No the account manager does not take paypal.

For you to send the money,you will have to go to any bank there in USA where they operate western union money transfer and tell them that you want to remit money to NIGERIA.Then a form will be given to you to fill there in the western union's office.

In the receiver's name in the form you will fill in ANDREW DESMOND OSHO as the receiver's name. This is the secretary's name of the security company.Immediately this is done you will have to furnish me with all the informations you use in sending the money for submission to the secretary to enable him go to the bank here and pick up the money,I hope this is understood sir?.

Once again,thank you very much for your concern about us and this is definitely going to be a good beginning of a long and lasting relationship.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

N/B:FOR SECURITY REASONS INCASE YOU ARE SUBJECTED TO SOME QUESTIONING IN THE BANK,TELL THEM YOU ARE SENDING THE MONEY TO YOUR FAMILY IN NIGERIA.THIS IS TO ENSURE MAXIMUM SECURITY.

top

I thought that it was time to confuse 'em.

Ibarhim Analcha,

I have something very important I must share with you, my brother:

My son, the fierce man, was concerned when I spoke of my trip to Assmerdam, and would not let me get off the phone until I told him "what was up". I had to tell him about our correspondence and my plan to help you and your "Senora Muy Caliente" mother, Abbahhocho.

He was upset that I was keeping a way to make money from him and wanted to help. I told you before (these are all running together for me) that I had mentioned to him that I was going to be able to make some extra money (and help out a fellow Mausoleaum Worhsippe) and now he knows. He is all for it with one caveat:

He is concerned about our pig government monitoring email. (They talked about it on my new favorite Television program "Mister Sterling" (have you watched it? FANTASTIC SHOW!!!) last episode (it's on tonight, praise allooh!).)

He suggested that from now on (after I get to western union tomorrow morning) we use a code to communicate like this:

A=1
B=2
C=3
D=4
E=5
F=6
G=7
H=8
I=9
J=10
K=11
L=12
M=13
N=14
O=15
P=16
Q=17
R=18
S=19
T=20
U=21
V=22
W=23
X=24
Y=25
Z=69

PLEASE NOTE THAT Z IS REPRESENTED BY THE NUMBER 69 AND NOT THE NUMBER 26!!! (one would assume that it would be 26 and this is exactly why I chose a different number: TO THROW OUR PIG GOVERNMENT OFF THE TRAIL!!!!! PRAISE HALO!)

So you get the idea, the sentence "HELLO, B-NACHO" WOULD BE: 85121215 2-1413815. This may add a few minutes to our correspondence, but I think it is fair to say that a sensitive matter such as this, you don't want those mother hubbards in Nigeria stealing even more money, or worse, hurting my cats.

(by the way "MEOW" is 1351523 in our new code)

Let me know if this works for you. Or if you have another remedy. My driver is getting the car fixed today and will be taking me to Western Union tomorrow. (If I make the check for $2000, would that be okay? (I like keeping my numbers rounded off) You could use the extra money to buy yourself a delicious ice cream cone or something.)

P.S. Joe Joe the Dancing Clown does not care for the program "Mister Sterling". (Mister Snickers does!)

P.P.S What does N/B mean? Is that like P.S.?

P.P.P.S (or N/B) Is Andrew Desmond Osho from Logan, Utah? I knew a very nice man in Logan, Utah named Andrew many years ago.

I don't know if Desmond Osho was his last name, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

N/B: 9 1215225 251521

(The above is: I LOVE YOU in our code... Mum's the word!)
---
Dean Cameron

top

The code seems, er... long... An alternative is suggested.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Saturday, February 08, 2003 2:53 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: AWAITING THE INFORMATIONS YOU USE IN SENDING THE MONEY.
            (ELIZABETH K).

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your mail response and the contents are well understood.It is through about what you said for the need of a code in our communications.But the code you have suggested is too long.I advice we use the code (ELIZABETH K),my aunt's name in all our communications.Any e-mail I'm sending to you from now on will carry (ELIZABETH K)on top of the message just like I have putting it on top now.You will also have to make sure that you always include the code just as I did now in all your emails you are sending to me,like you know it is to ensure maximum security.

ANDREW DESMOND OSHO is not from LOGAN,UTAH,the name might just be similar but he is not from UTAH.He is the general secretary of the security company.

After sending the money today,endearvour to furnish me with the informations you use in sending the money immediately so as to enable ANDREW DESMOND OSHO pick up the money from the bank so that the consignment can leave NIGERIA immediately.Thank you very much for what you said I should use to buy myself ICE CREAM,I am very happy.I will tell my mother so she can also help me to thank you.

N/B means note below or important notice.I use it to advice that incase you are subjected to some questioning by the western union's office on who you are sending money to in NIGERIA,you should tell them that you are sending money to your family in NIGERIA because we are now like your family members,I hope this is well understood?and again,it is to ensure maximum secrecy so that they won't know about our transactional arrangement.

Once again,thank you very much for your great concern about us and Allah will reward you greatly for your love for us.

May Allah bless you.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

Their impatience is showing. I didn't write back for one day and the "mother" sent me an email. I think she's in to me. She asked about the cats and signed off with "I love you". I'm a lucky man.


From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Sunday, February 09, 2003 10:02 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: thank you very much.

My Dear Dean Cameron,
Greetings to you and your family.How are you and your kitkats,hope they are doing fine.
My son has updated me about your dealings with him,also how you promised to send him money together with the transfer charges to buy ice cream for himself.I am very grateful about this,this shows that you really care about us,thank you very much about this.
Please,always keep in touch with us because not hearing from you is like we are in the dark.Infact I am very happy you are there for me and I'm really looking forward to leaving with you in USA.Waiting to hear from you sweet and my son is also waiting to receive some informations about the money you promise to send.

It's me writing,MARIAM,
I LOVE YOU.

top

I reply a couple of days later. Using, of course, a different code.

From: "dean cameron" d ean@mighty cheese.com
Reply-To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
To: "'ibrahim abacha'" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
Date: Mon, 10 Feb 2003 21:39:22 -0800

(MISTER STERLING)

Hello my good friend from the land down under! I am testing this new code.

THE CROW FLIES AT MIDNIGHT!

---
Dean Cameron

Ibrahim gets a little pissy and I reply.

----- Original Message -----
From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Sent: Tuesday, February 11, 2003 3:57 AM
Subject: URGENT/CONFIDENTIAL.

                          (ELIZABETH K).

Dear Sir,

How is MISTER STERLING AND MISTER SNICKERS,I hope they are doing alright.

I just received your mail and I must tell you that the contents are not understood.Regarding our code of communication(ELIZABETH K),I do not see anything to be tested there.It is very easy,all you need do is to always put it on top of your e-mail whenever you are mailing me just like I have putting it on top now.I am trying to say that there is nothing to text there in the new code as it is delaying this transaction.

I expected to receive all the necessary informations from you to enable ANDREW DESMOND OSHO pick up the money from the bank so that the consignment can depart NIGERIA to AMSTERDAM immediately.Now I'm surprised you did'nt even make any reference to that.Like you know time is of essence and this funds is our future hope,hence the need for the consignment to leave NIGERIA as soon as possible before it gets to the knowledge of our Government and froze it just the way he has done to all our properties and accounts,I hope this is understood.I must tell you that we are not happy about your delay in responding to our mails.My mother told me she also e-mailed you but she did not hear from you uptill now.She said she like hearing from you all the time as I believe she always think about you.

I have tried your number times without numbers it is permanently on fax.Please provide me with your direct mobile number where I can always get you anytime I call you,because I want to have a voice contact with you.

Please endearvour to get back to me immediately you receive this mail and I should expect the informations issued to you by the WERSTERN UNION'S OFFICE that will enable ANDREW DESMOND OSHO pick up the money from the bank without further delay and also endearvour to e-mail my mother so she can be happy because she have not been in a happy mood for sometime now,she did not hear from you.

ALLAH will reward you for your great concern about us.Praise ALLAH.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

PLEASE REMEMBER TO INCLUDE THE CODE (ELIZABETH K)IN YOUR NEXT MAIL TO ENSURE MAXIMUM SECURITY IN OUR COMMUNICATIONS.

I reply with some more about Mister Sterling and a nice parenthetical section, if I do say so myself.

          (ELIZABETH K).

Ibrahim my gusty friend,

I believe there is confusion amongst us. I went to Western Union and had a check made for $2000. It is sitting next to my four ice skating trophies (no, I am not an Ice Skater, but I do love the trophies and am constantly on the lookout for them at flea markets and antique shops (I love antiquing, though there is not much here in Floradi) to add to my collection) on the shelf next to my desk here.

It is made out to ANDREW DESMOND OSHO (not from Utah, thanks for clearing that up (would've been quite a coincidence, eh?!?!) although it would've been quite a coincidence, eh?!?!) and it is even in the capital letters which you are so fond of using!

What address should I send it to?

How is the taquito known as your mother? I'm hoping she is all packed.

Speaking of packing. I found a friend to watch Mister Snickers and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown (you referred to one of my cats as Mister Sterling; oh how I made a laugh (I schnertzed (that means laughing so that stuff shoots out of your nose when you're drinking) my wine spritzer all over the screen) when i read that! I'm smiling now, thinking of it.

Mister Sterling is my new favorite television program (I think that Josh Brolin is a keeper, don't you? (Have you heard Audra Macdonald sing? spanINE!!!! LIKE AN ANGEL!!!! (of course I don't believe in angels now that I am moslem) ) He reminds me of Roy Bilhouse, (Roy Bilhouse was my best friend in 10th grade. I don't imagine that you know him.) who I always thought was quite like Josh Brolin (Obviously, I knew Roy before I ever became aware of mr. brolin in "The Goonies" and now Mr. Sterling) with that rakish Nick Nolte demeanor) and Mister Snickers and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown are my naughty feline cats. (I say naughty because Mister Snickers has taken to taking the dried poopies from his catbox and leaving it in my bed! (don't ask me how I know it's Mister Snickers' poopies. You do not want to know, sir) I don't know why he'd do that. Maybe he knows I'm going on a trip to Assmerdam!)

My passport is in order. Remind me, when you have time, to tell you the story about taking Joe Joe the Dancing Clown to the Federal Building many years ago to pose in my Passport photo with me! You'll SCHNERTZ!

Where do I send the check, my monkey?

(I'm not sure that this ELIZABETH K. business is effective, by the way. My son, the famous heterosexual, believes that it is a worthless security measure. Much like the ones currently implemented by airport security in the united states. (all for show, that is) Thoughts?)

PRAISE ALLOoO!

N/B: Mister Sterling is not on this week.

---
Dean Cameron

top

Ibrahim Replies:

           (ELIZABETH K).

Dear Sir,

Thank you very much for your mail response.The contents are well noted.

My mother is doing alright but she like hearing from you all the time.

The Mailing Address is:

1B TOYIN STREET,IKEJA
LAGOS-NIGERIA.

To the Attention of ANDREW DESMOND OSHO.

You are advice to send the check through DHL services and endearvour to furnish me with the tracking number that will be given to you by the DHL office for the package so as to enable ANDREW DESMOND OSHO track it down in the DHL office here in NIGERIA.

Regarding our code of communication,if you insist we should be using the one you suggested,fine.Then you will have to indicate it in your next mail.

Now I understand the difference between the two kats and the TV programme.How are MISTER SNICKERS and JOE JOE the dancing clown,I hope they are doing okay,my regards to them.

Please Sir,endearvour to go to the DHL office today to send the check and most importantly remember to furnish me with the tracking number so that ANDREW DESMOND OSHO can track down the check immediately it arrive their office here in NIGERIA.This will enable the consignment leave NIGERIA immediately because time is of essence.

I have receiced your direct telephone number.I will try as much as possible to call you today for a voice contact between us.

May ALLAH reward you greatly for your concern about us.Praise ALLAH.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.


IBRAHIM CALLS!!! Click to hear the .mp3!!!

I quickly sent off the following:          (ELIZABETH K).

Hello my latin friend and AHOY!!!!

Who is DHL? Is that a hockey league? There is a minor league hockey team in Miami, but I don't think they are Nigerian.

Western union wasn't able to make the check for 264,360 Nigerian Naira so I thought I'd send it in Nigerian Postage Stamps. Is that a good idea?

I went ahead and sent you a case of Avocados (or Oosho Andrew Lloyd Weber) and hand wrote out my famous gaockomoaule recipe!!! I put a bottle of McElheny and Levy's Tabasco sauce and Mister Snicker's old jingle jingle collar in the box. (DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO SHIP AVOCADOS TO NIGERIA?!!?!? HOLY TOLEDO!)

Make sure Mister LLOYD SOHO DESMOND CHILD leaves the finished qgooacoomaoloe to sit for a bit so the tabasco soaks in. Otherwise, you won't get the spice benefit!!! YOU MUST GET THE SPICE BENEFIT!

Once you and Mama Mia are safe here, we can sit on the porch, drink Cherry Fruit Punch and eat Gockomole together while the kit kats weave furry figure eights at our feet.

Please to let me know about the conversion rate.

OH, I RECEIVED YOUR PHONE CALL. Please to leave your phone number next time!

---
Dean Cameron
top

Two frantic emails from Ibrahim one after the other. Concern about the Avocados (which is a great name for a band).


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 13, 2003 3:02 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: URGENT.

                    (ELIZABETH K).

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your mail response.The DHL is not a hockey league,it is a courier service through which things are send from over-sea to any where in the world.

Sir,I do not understand.Have you send the money already through western union money transfer?I think the conversation rate is okay if you have send it or you will have to indicate it there to pay ANDREW DESMOND OSHO in usdollars.Some informations are surpose to be issue to you by the western union's office such as CONTROL NUMBER,TEXT QUESTION,ANSWER,AMOUNT SEND AND THE NAME OF SENDER,isn't?If all these informations are already be given to you by the western union's office,endearvour to send the informations in your next mail,this can also help ANDREW DESMOND OSHO to pick up the money from the bank.

Have you send the check through DHL?because I understand you said you send me a case of avocados,did you include the check?If yes,send me the tracking number immediately for easier collection of the package by ANDREW DESMOND OSHO.

Sir,enlighten more as regards your last mail because the contents are not well understood.

May bless you for your concern about.Praise Allah.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 13, 2003 4:31 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: IN ADDITION.

                     (ELIZABETH K).

Dear Sir,

I have glance through your mail again and I was able to understand that you could'nt send the money through western union money transfer.

The convertion rate here in NIGERIA is okay if ANDREW DESMOND OSHO receive the money in usdollars.In the issue of sending the money in NIGERIAN postage stamp,I dont think it is safe because they might open and found out that the package contains money and as such steal the package.I advice you go to western union and give them the us$2000 in cash not in check and they will issue you all the informations listed in my first mail which you will be require to send down immediately to enable ANDREW DESMOND OSHO pick up the money from the bank.

Please Sir,try as much as possible to go to western union today and give them the us$2000 in cash not in check because time is not on our side.Most importantly,furnish me with all the informations immediately after sending the money.Remember to indicate it there in western union's office to give ANDREW DESMOND OSHO the us$2000 in usdollars not in Naira.

Regarding the shipment of AVOCADO into NIGERIA,I do not have the idea but I will try and find out how possible it may be.

May Allah Bless you for you concern about us.Praise Allah.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.
top

TWO MORE PHONE CALLS!!!

ibrahim2.mp3

ibrahim3.mp3

He's getting impatient. I decide to get confused and also forward another Nigerian Scam letter to him. This should get interesting! Also: No (ELIZABETH K.)

Hi there!!! Two calls from you. Once again, the phone number doesn't work! Are you toying with me? Hmmm...

I'm so confused about the money. I've already had it converted into Naira. I can't find DLH anywhere. I don't understand why I should send the dollars and not Naira. I have the check here (I mentioned that I collect trophies, yes?) but I don't know who DLH is or where to find them. Are they based in Assmerdam?

Here's a funny coincidence:

I got an email from someone else in Nigeria! Maybe I can just send you more money and you can help this person? Is that possible? I am forwarding his email to me to you. Are you friends? It sounds like you're both in a similar position. Nigeria must be a rotten, rotten, rotten place, indeed!

Tomorrow is Valentine's day. I have no Valentines. (SHUSH! DO NOT TELL MISTER SNICKERS AND JOE JOE THE DANCING CLOWN! (they wouldn't understand what it means to have the companionship of a member of the opposite sex to thrust mightily upon (they are a)cats and 2) without "plumbing") in the heat of Valentines bliss) Perhaps by this time next year, your mother and I will send you and a friend out for the evening while we sit and do the things people do on Valentine's day.

I digress.

Tomorrow, I will return to Western Union. Please let me know what to do with this check for the Naira. Should I have it converted back to Dollars? Or should I just fill the envelope with stamps?

Also, the avocados are on their way. You should get those soon, I am hoping.

N/B: (I enjoy that so much more than P.S. (I always associate that with a motion picture film play entitled "P.S. Your Cat Is Dead") (can you think of a more horrible way to end a letter (I would hope that anyone notifying me of my pussy's death would BEGIN the letter with that bit of information! RUE THE DAY!!!) to someone with a pet! Ach!)

P.S. (I became distracted with the N/B so I am writing this as a P.S. (damn the motion picture film play, anyway!) ) Please inform me if the letter from the gentleman below is an acquaintance of yours. It would be thrilling to me if I could help both of you, my saucy latin spicecake!

Yours in Pudding,

---
Dean Cameron


From: DR DONALD ABAYOMI. [mailto:drda@yahoo.com]
Sent: Wednesday, February 12, 2003 12:21 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: INVESTMENT PURPOSE !

FROM:DR.DONALD ABAYOMI.

ATTN: MD/ CEO

I am DR.DONALD ABAYOMI.,Working with department of Foreign Operations. Federal ministry of Finance (FMF). I got your contact through an associate who works with the Nigeria Institute of International Affairs [NIIA].

This transaction require mutual understanding, transparency and absolute trust to be executed.

One Mr. Pakir Kubani from India executed a contract with the Federal Ministry of Aviation[FMA] here in Nigeria, the contract worth Thirty Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollar[US$30,500,000.00],But at the process oftransfering the money to him he died with his family in an earthquake disaster that occured in India. Meanwhile this fund is presently in the central bank vault. Nobody knows what is going on except two of my colleagues and I , this is the information of the contract executed by Mr. Pakir Kubani.

CONTRACT NUMBER:FMA/SLE/BIR/99
CONTRACT SUM:US$30,500,000.00

Therefore, you will stand as the Trustee for the Original Contractor. I will send to you the whole relevant documents that are required in this transaction immediately you accept to cooperate with me. Send to me your [1]Private telephone and fax numbers [2]The name of your company you wish to use [3]Your banking details to enable us to start the deal immediately, we have decided to give you 30% of the fund for your involvement, 10% will be for expenses then 60% will be for us. This deal is 100% risk free and needed maturity from all the parties involved.I will be going for my retirement very soon. So I need this money to be invest in a valuable project in your country or its environs.

You shall arrange for us to meet with you immediately after we transferred the money to you.

I am waiting for your urgent response.

Best regards,

DR DONALD ABAYOMI.

top

Ibrahim advises me not to fall for the other Scammer.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, February 14, 2003 4:30 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: VERY URGENT.

                      (ELIZABETH K).

Dear Sir,

I am in receipt of your mail which had my best attention.Sir,I do not know DR.DONALD ABAYOMI that sent you a mail.I must strongly advice you not to pay any attention to any mails coming to you from NIGERIA so that you do not fall victim in the hands of the wrong people.Let us face our dealings and forget about others.This is why we have both adopt a code of communication (ELIZABETH K).From now on any mail that come to you without caryying the code (ELIZABETH K)know that it is not from me and do not pay any attention to it.This is because many fraudulent business activities are going on here in NIGERIA just as this DR.DONALD has proposed this to you.It is not real,please do not respond to him.We like you so much and we cannot be looking at you dealing with the wrong people,I hope this is well understood?.

Sir,I'm very sorry for the inconviniences about sending of the money to NIGERIA.I thought DHL office is also situated there in your city just as it is situated in other countries.Sir,I think it is better for you to send the money through western union money transfer just like I have told you before.This is to ensure safe arrival of the money to NIGERIA.

I also advice you convert the check in NAIRA to DOLLARS and send it through western union money transfer.The money has to be send in dollars because the security company demanded for it.

All you need do is to go to western union's office and tell them you want to send money to NIGERIA,then a form will be given to you to fill which I have already explained to you in the past.After then,they will issue you some informations like TEXT QUESTION,ANSWER,AMOUNT SEND,CONTROL NUMBER,NAME OF SENDER AND COUNTRY WHERE THE MONEY IS SENT.Then you will have to send down these informations immediately so I can hand it over to ANDREW DESMOND OSHO who will go and pick up the money from the bank.Like I have said before,it is to ensure maximum safety of the money to NIGERIA without any difficulties.

Sir,endearvour to send the money today through western union money transfer because time is not on our side.My mother is not happy with the way the consignment is still lying down here in NIGERIA.She will be more than glad to hear that you have send the money to pay off the transfer charges to have the consignment leave NIGERIA immediately so that she can have rest of mind.

I shall be waiting for the informations today as soon as you return from western union's office,and please include your telephone number where I can always reach you.

May Allah reward you for your concern about us.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

A genius reader of this suggested I try to scam money from Ibrahim.

                     ELIZABETH K.)

Hello my friendly friend!

Thank you for your quick response. It is an odd thing. Dr. Donald Abayomi has stated that he knows of you and that you are trying to steal money from me. He has even sent me $100 to my PayPal account to prove, in good faith, that he is for real. I don't know.

I think I am going to go ahead and help both of you.

I had counsel with Joe Joe the Dancing Clown (my faithful cat) about it and he seems to think that you are very upfront (proven by your frequent phone calls and photographs your hachachacha mother sent me (additionally, the fact that we OWN THE SAME COUCH!) seems to be a good sign.) and perhaps the most trustworthy of the two of you.

My spastic colon has been acting up today so I was not able to get to Western Union. I am still not sure why I can't just send stamps. They seem like a universal method of exchange. (Dr. Abayomi, in addition to being a Doctor (what is your profession?) has a paypal account and that seems like the most convenient way of doing transactions). Today, my day has consisted of at least 14 trips to have a sit-down in my restroom (I have 6 in this house (2 of the bedrooms don't have a restroom) off my sitting room. Though, with this recent development, my restroom has become the sitting room.

I am sorry to dump this graphic description of my colon situation, but it is, obviously, at the forefront of my mind. Oh, the pain, the pain, the pain. When there is nothing to expunge from my insides, I get cramps like a crampy cramper! No picnic. (the thought of a picnic is horrid as this can strike and render my pants completely unwearable!! BLECH!)

Kwan, the young Phillipino boy who does work for me around my house had offered (from the other side of my restroom door) to go to Western Union for me. I sent him and he returned as confused as I am. I've already sent the Doctor Abayomi $850 via PayPal. I must apologize for my inability to understand how you want me to send you the $2000. I am also unable to locate DLH. There is a florist in Miami called DLH Florist. Do they deliver flowers to Nigeria? Do you have florists in Nigeria? Do you want me to send flowers? I already spent $75 sending two avocados to you, my good buddy.

You can't tell, obviously, but I have been away from writing this email for 38 minutes. (a spastic colon is perhaps the worst thing a person can endure. it is as if someone suddenly pumps gravel filled pudding into my stomach at a high pressure. ugh.) I have 9 candles lit in the restroom.

I'm so sorry for these details and will spare you any further disgust at my bowel problems. Yuk! (Mister Snickers is no where to be found, he finds it so repulsive. I can not blame you)

Please to inform me very methodically how to send the money to you my best pal.

A word to your mother, as well.

Prays ALLHA!

---
Dean Cameron

top

It may get complicated... In this letter, Ibrahim POSES AS THE OTHER SCAMMER! (he's kind enough to put in a good word for those sweet Abachas.


From: drda@tangana.com [mailto:drda@tangana.com] On Behalf Of DR@sitemail.everyone.net
Sent: Saturday, February 15, 2003 1:24 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: MY JOB IS IN DANGER!!!!!!

DEAR DEAN,

HOW ARE YOU HOPE EVERY IS OKAY WITH YOU,AS FOR ME I'M NOT, CAUSE I JUST NOTICED THAT OUR COMMUNICATION THROUGH INTERNET HAS BEEN MONITORED BY NIGERAN GOVERNMENT,AND AM ABOUT LOOSING MY JOB,THAT I'M TRYING TO CLAIM THE MONEY THAT BELONG TO MR. PAKIR KUBANI WHO DIED OF EARTHQUKE DISASTER,BECAUSE OF THIS I WANT US TO STOP THIS BUSINESS FOR NOW AND ANY OTHER COMMUNICATION SHOULD BE THROUGH THIS MAIL BOX PLEASE FOR SECURITY REASONS. ANY MAIL FROM THAT OLD MAILBOX:drda@yahoo.com SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN ATTENTION.

I'M VERY SORRY TELLING YOU THAT YOU SHOULDN'T DO HELP MRS ABACHA,PLS IF THERE IS ANY WAY YOU CAN HELP HER PLS DO,SHE WAS A GOOD FIRST LADY WHEN THE HUSBAND WAS ALIFE.

IF I HAVE GIVEN MY PHONE NUMBER PLS DON'T CALLME FOR NOW.

THANKS,

DR DONALD ABAYOMI

top

Then Ibrahim sends me an email about half an hour later. CLEVER!


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Saturday, February 15, 2003 2:02 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: URGENT.

(ELIZABETH K).

Dear Sir,

I am in receipt of your mail which had my best attention.I am very surprise with the contents of your mail response.Since you insisited you want to follow up DR.ABAYOMI,you can go ahead but I am only trying to be honest to you that you should be careful with your dealings with NIGERIANS so you do not fall victim.

It has come to my greatest surprise why you find it so difficult to send the money down to NIGERIA through western union money transfer.Immediately I receive this mail,I went straight to the security company to tell them you are unable to send the money to NIGERIA though western union money transfer.They have advice you therefore send it down to the mailing address I gave to you just the way you have sent the avocados,I hope this will be possible?and remember to tell me the means through which you sent me the avocados.

Alternatively,you can as well send it through the NIGERIAN POSTAGE STAMP as you earlier said and make sure the money is in dollars not in naira.Please Sir,make it urgent so that the cargo manager can move the consignment out from NIGERIA.

Most importantly,you are advice to stop discussing our dealings with DR.ABAYOMI as it may cause linkage to our Government and as such re-arrest my mother,I hope this is understood?.

May Allah reward you for your great concern about us.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

I was away for the weekend and not able to return email, so Ibrahim gets a little testy and concerned... Also a "VICTOR SMITH" is introduced! Plus: A photo of the Money!


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, February 18, 2003 3:39 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: WHY THE DELAY.

Dear Sir,

I am very very surprised that uptill now we have not heard from you,what is the problem?Are you still finding any difficulty to mail the money to the address I gave to you or has DR.ABAYOMI convinced you not to assist us?

This is because the cargo manager of the security company MR.VICTOR SMITH is ready to move the consignment to their AMSTERDAM branch,the delay now is because they have not received the money for the transfer charges,but I'm trying to make him understand that if the case may be that you are unable to send down the money for the transfer charges,he should please help us move the consignment to their AMSTERDAM branch while you will give him the money for the transfer charges when you shall arrive AMSTERDAM to pick up the consignment,I hope this will be okay by you.

May DR.ABAYOMI has succeeded in blackmailing our names to you in other for you not to help us receive the funds,find attached below the real picture of the funds inside the box taken by my late father before it was deposited with the security company.Download it for your viewing for you to know that we really have the money inside the consignment.I hope by now,your travelling arrangement to AMSTERDAM must have been concluded,if yes let me know.

Sir,remember we have come along way and you have already volunteered to help us,please do not change your mind towards helping us.My mother is sick now due to the fact that we did not hear from you again,please get back to me so I can also update my mother so she can be release from her ill health.Awaiting to hear from you urgently.

May allah reward you for your concern about us.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.


top

Now I send an email to "Dr. Abayomi", knowing that it's Ibrahim. (Remember my goal: Get Ibrahim to send me money)

DOCTOR ABONERYUMI,

It is a crying shame that you are unable to continue this transaction! I am so sorry and I feel responsible for your troubles. Perhaps it was the $850 that I sent you via PayPal!

I got a very understanding letter from Mister Ibrahim Bnacho and he was all for me continuing to ASSist you. It is a shame as you are much easier to send money to. Also, I think the fact that we were going to meet in Miami would make the entire transaction faster for the other $15,000 that I was going to give you next week. I am continuing to be confused by the Abachas, though I am sure I will be able to ASSist them, too. I desperately want to. (The mother, Miriam, seems so delightful to me. She sent me very lovely photos of her and I find her to be beautiful. Do you know her? Is she as beautiful in person as she is in those photos? (My houseboy, Kwan (who I spoke of once, I think) seems jealous) I do hope she is!)

Ah well. I hope that things are good for you, my newest old friend!

Be well, be well and be well!

Did you enjoy the photos of my cats? You never said!

---
Dean Cameron

top

Then, I send a letter to Ibrahim which includes American cultural icons.

(ELIZABETH K.)

My cookie pal,

Please, please, please forgive my delay in response. It is a tragedy that your banana pancake of a mother has taken ill. I bemoan my delay to Alloo! If you will only forgive it, my jack-o-lantern!

I have put the FOUR DOLLARS AMERICAN MONEY ($4) in an envelope and it is on its merry way to ANDREW DESOMOND OSHO at the specified address. (It seems that someone made a mistake in making the original transfer from DOLLARS AMERICAIN to NAIRA at Western Union so when I transferred it back to AMERICAN DOLLARS it ended up being $4 (FOUR DOLLARS AMERICAN MONEY) instead of the original $2000 (TWO THOUSAND AMERICAIN DOLLAROS). I have both of my attorneys, Mister Perry Mason and Mister Owen Marshall - Counselor At Law, investigating this seeming abscondification of my money. (I was going to write "hard earned money" but my fortune was not "hard earned" at all; as a matter of fact, much of it was "easily earned" in the "junk bond" heyday of the late 80's. (which is one of the reasons I am so eager to rid myself of much of it - it is a bit "tarnished" as some would say (i am hopeful that Alhaha will give me some "karma type" points towards eternal peace when this business with you and my new buddy, the bootilicious Miriam, is completed.) and you know, tarnished money is also known as "Dirty Copper" in the dillweed.)

As to my delay, I believe I spoke of my colon "difficulties" in my last letter to you, my friend. That nastiness is all taken care of, thanks to my doctor, Doctor Bombay (a truly bewitching professional, by the way). He braved the rather thick ugliness here at the house and was able to apply a, shall we say "stopgap" solution to this unpleasantness. Blech!

(the good news is this: I've dropped three pounds and look ravishing!)

Again, my friend, please accept my apologies for this delay. I was rendered nearly immobile (except of course for the spastic part) for the last three (4) days.

Kwan, my hairless houseboy/companion, was able to procure information regarding flights to Assmerdam.

Do you ever feel like the things you do aren't worth doing; "creeping nihilism" is my term for this.

I digress, sir.

I will be able to leave for Assmerdam as soon as you let me know you receieved the $4 (FOUR DOLLARS - AMERICAN!) in the mail. (I sent it postage due, I hope that's not a problem. Kwan mailed it and his grasp of English is not so tight and couldn't understand the homely woman at the U.S. Post Office (we have a term here called "Going Postal": though the ratio of violence among U.S. Postal Employees is not that high, it is highly reported in our media, so most Americans believe that U.S. Postal Workers are a violent group prone to outbursts of, well, violence. Do you have such a term there? Going Guygax, perhaps? Hmmm.) was not patient with Kwan and suggested "postage due" to which my tanned child replied simply "Ah Yes!". The four, crisp, one dollar ($1) bills should wind their way to you soon. I hope the delay does not make you "go postal".

Tell me of your sweet mother, Miriam's, ailment. I pray on the life of Mister Snickers that she has not contracted what I have been suffering with for the past three (4) days. Boy howdy, that would be bad bad and bad again!

The other thing is this:

VICTOR SMITH works at the local Taco Mayo. He is the Assistant Manager on weekends and head of the frier during the rest of the week. Should I just write a check and give it to him?

You sent me a photo of all that money, so I'm sending you a photo of Mister Snickers (he's not scared of my odors anymore... they are gone (PRAISE MY CANDLES!) he is happy again) rolling in happiness after showing him the photo that your Daddy took of the money.

PRAISE ALHAHA!

N/B: There is great sadness, also, regarding Donald Aboneryami. He is being monitored by the Nigerian Governments and has aksed that I refrain from assisting him. It is a shame for me, as I have already sent him $850 (EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTY AMERICAN CASH MONEY) via paypal. I am sure he is a trustworthy fellow, like yourself, and will return it post haste. Keep a sweet place in your heart for Senor Bonerhamy as he may have be having a difficult go of it now. I feel as if I've betrayed him, somehow. He has spoken highly of you and your clit.

Choicefully yours:

---
Dean Cameron

mister snickers is happy! top

I found a site with a bunch of other people fucking with Nigerian scammers. I copped a travel itinerary to "Assmerdam" from Montreal from a genius. Enjoy. I also sent him a link to the band I play bass for.

My Pal,

As much as it breaks my heart, I am travelling to the country of our slow brothers to the North: Canada. I must take care of some real estate business in Montreal for a week. I despise Canada. The radio is a non-stop barrage of Rush, Triumph, Alana Myles, Brian Adams, April Wine, Alanis Morissette, Chilliwack, Anne Murray, Bachman-Turner Overweight, Our Lady Peace and The Ducks http://www.theducks.net

"Giant Steps" was outlawed there in 1972.

Imagine my horror.

On the GOOD NEWS front:

I enlisted my attorney, Owen Marshall - Counselor at Law to procure airline reservations for me once my real estate venture is complete. Kwan will not be able to make the trip as my other attorney, Perry Mason, has not been successful in obtaining his visa. (The words "kidnap" and "child slave" have been used more than once, much to my concern, I tell you!)

Digression. Forgive me.

So: I will withdraw the appropriate amount of money ($2000 - $4 = $1996, yes?) and you (and your wonderful mum) and I will sip tea, laugh and gently fondle each other with the knowledge that we will be assisting each other in making the world a better place, yes?

Oh I do look forward to helping you, my fiend. We will have a dandy roll in the hay!

Flight BA 94
Operated by British Airways
Departing from Montreal (Dorval)
3MARCH2003 at 21:00
Terminal 4

Arriving at Heathrow (London)
4MARCH2003 at 08:45
Terminal 4

Flight BA 438
Operated by British Airways (Non smoking)
Departing from Heathrow (London)
4MARCH2003 at 13:30

Arriving at Amsterdam
4MARCH2003 at 15:40

---
Dean Cameron

top

It's going to begin getting weird.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, February 19, 2003 2:27 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: THE CONSIGNMENT WILL BE LEAVING NIGERIA TODAY.

(ELIZABETH K).

Dear Sir,

I have received your mail and I have accepted your apologies.But somehow,I am surprise why you have choosen to send down us$4 instead of us$2000 which you earlier promised to send,infact I'm very surprise because the us$4 is not upto the the money the security company charged for the transfer charges.

Immediately I received your mail this morning,I have to proceed to the security company and I have been able to give words to the cargo manager MR.VICTOR SMITH that you are still finding it difficult to send down the money for the transfer charges and he have agreed to help us move out the consignment to their AMSTERDAM branch while you will pay him the money for the transfer charges in AMSTERDAM.He will be leaving NIGERIA with the consignment today 19th Feb.2003 to arrive AMSTERDAM tomorrow evening/night 20th feb 2003.I have given him your e-mail address and fax number since I dont have your telephone numbers to enable him contact you immediately he arrive AMSTERDAM tomorrow or if it will be possible for you to send down your direct telephone number where you can be reached so I can also give it to MR.VICTOR SMITH to enable him call you in AMSTERDAM for easier and faster communications,please do so.

Also I want to use this opportunity to tell you that he is not the VICTOR SMITH that works at the local Taco Mayo.This one works with the security company as CARGO MANAGER,I hope this is clear?.MR.VICTOR SMITH being so kind has promise to receive you at airport when you arrive AMSTERDAM so you won't find any difficulty in getting to him in AMSTERDAM.He will further clearify you in AMSTERDAM what will be required from you when coming to AMSTERDAM to clear the consignment.

I will also like to disclose to you to please follow up all the instructions from the security company's AMSTERDAM branch so that the consignment can be release to you,I hope this is understood?.

Moreover,I understand in your last mail that you will be travelling to CANADA.Please I advice you should suspend your travelling to CANADA for now so that you will be able to go and meet up with MR.VICTOR SMITH as soon as he contact you from AMSTERDAM to avoid further delay,I hope this is okay by you.

My mother is a bit relief from her ill health when I told her you have sent me a mail.Like I told you before,she like hearing from you all the time.Her been ill was because she felt you want to ruin her dreams of residing with you in USA due to the contents of your last mail regarding your dealings with DR.ABAYOMI,but now I told her you are still willing to help,she is happy now.She said I should extend her greetings to you.I shall be waiting for your urgent response.

May Allah reward you for your concern about us.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

Then I got a fax from "Assmerdam". (click for the big version)

top

Then I sent this off to Ibrahim:

(ELIZABETH K.)

Hello, my amigo!

The bad news is the Avocados were returned today. Had I been home, I would've been able to smell them before they arrived.

My Gcockamole recipe calls for soft avocados, but they were beyond soft. They were mush. I suppose it's good you never got them, you would think poorly of me and then you would tell your mommy and then she would hate me more than she does now, sir.

I will bring the avocados (different ones, natch!) with me in March when we meat in Asmetermedam!

Mister Mason, my attorney said it's imperative that I travel to Canaduh next week. I am sorry. Although retired from "the street" I still enjoy making the odd deal now and then (our business venture should attest to that, Ibarhim) so I am travelling to the great white north to broker a deal for some Mohair (for sweaters and such) and pressboards used to house computer parts. I will be able to turn a profit of at least $800,000 Amaerican cash money.

The future of the cats demand it.

Of course, the business in which is being entered into with you, my friend, is much more profitable and much more satisfying as it returns the power to the poeple (where it rightfully belongs (the power must ultimately reside with the people) of course) and this is something I have always tried to at least think about remembering to do. Even when socking away the cash during the junk bond heyday.

Enough of my prattle. Business now:

I do not know this VICTOR SMITH. It is a concern. Who is he? How do you come to know him? I trust you and your bootalicious mother, Merman, but mister Victor Smith is a new person. Are you being fooled by this man? Is it the fact that you did not include (ELIZABETH K.) in at least one of your recent emails to me? Was that a desperate cry for help?

I need some sort of token of your seriousness, sir. I have my travel plans (which you have seen). I have my reservations at the Kennel for Mister Snickers and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown. (I don't trust Kwan here alone. I send him to a special friend's estate when I am out of town on extended trips. (Kwan hosts get togethers with truly unsavory types) )

I have inquired with my physician, Doctor Bombay, about the necessary vaccinations for Amstermad (there are none, by the way). I have set my VCR to record my favorite television program MISTER STERLING with Josh Brolin and Audra MacDonald (VOICE LIKE AN ANGEL. CHARLOTTE CHURCH CAN GO WHISTLE, FOR ALL I CARE!!!). I have also set my VCR to record the showtime program with those two magicians (The big screaming dunderhead and the unfortunate mute with the dancing eyes, Penn and(&) Teller). Yes. I am ready to travel. I have made the commitment. I have been to Western Union. I have searched for a "DLH" time and time again.

What will you send me as proof?

Doctor Abayomi sent me $100 to my PayPal account. I took this to mean he was a man of wealth and taste and I immediately sent him $850. I was going to meat his representative in Miami next week and exchange a large amount of money as well. He had some unpleasantness with the Nigerian Government and we have, sadly, had to cease communication.

I am looking forward to helping you, my fiend.

(I know, obviously, that you can not send $100. You are not wealthy like Dr.Abonermami.)

---
Dean Cameron

top

No mention of my inquiry...


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 20, 2003 8:13 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: CONSIGNMENT HAS ARRIVE AMSTERDAM.

Dear Sir,

Goodday to you.Correspondence just reached me from the security company AMSTERDAM's branch that our consignment has arrive AMSTERDAM today with the help of MR.VICTOR SMITH.This is to notify you to please be at alert with your fax and e-mail because I have given your fax number and e-mail address to the AMSTERDAM branch to enable them contact you immediately the consignment arrive AMSTERDAM since I dont have your telephone number where you can be reached.

Once again,be at alert as they are likely to contact you from AMSTERDAM anytime from now.

May allah bless you for your great concern about us.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

You might have noticed (I didn't) that Ibrahim forgot to include his code. Ibrahim noticed, too, and sent this along. He will pay for his mistake!


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 20, 2003 8:43 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: I'M SORRY I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE CODE.

                             (ELIZABETH K).

Dear Sir,

I'm sorry I forgot to include the code (ELIZABETH K),please bear with me.

top

The Hawk is a reference from Ishtar. I sent this almost immediately.

                             (THE HAWK)

ALERT: CODE CHANGE
ALERT: CODE CHANGE
ALERT: CODE CHANGE
ALERT: CODE CHANGE
ALERT: CODE CHANGE

NEW CODE: (THE HAWK)
NEW CODE: (THE HAWK)
NEW CODE: (THE HAWK)
NEW CODE: (THE HAWK)
NEW CODE: (THE HAWK)

---
Dean Cameron
top

The manuevering begins, peeps:


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 1:33 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: ATTENTION:SIR.

                             (THE HAWK).

Dear Sir,

I have putting the new code which you have suggested we should be using,it is okay.My Mother does not hate you,she likes and love you.

It is true that I actually forgot to include the code (ELIZABETH K)in one of my mails yesterday,that is why I have to sent you the other mails to let you know that I forgot to include the code.No it is not a desperate cry for help.I feel you will not pay attention to it since I told you initially that any e-mail you receive without carrying the code,you should not respond to it,that is why I wrote you again to update you that I forgot the code,I hope this is clear?.

MR.VICTOR SMITH is not a new person.I thought I have already clearify to you who MR.VICTOR SMITH is.He is a diplomat that works with the security company where our consignment was deposited here in NIGERIA.In other words he is the cargo manager of the security company.He is the one that move our consignment out of NIGERIA to their AMSTERDAM branch.He is not fooling us,he is very helpful in the sense that he volunteered to help us move out the consignment from NIGERIA to their AMSTERDAM branch without the us$1,800 for the transfer charges.I will advice you to compensate him for his good will of helping us to move the consignment to their AMSTERDAM branch.

The fax you received from AMSTERDAM from MR.TONY JONES should not be funny to you.MR.TONY JONES is the man in charge of the security company's AMSTERDAM branch,meaning he is the one in charge of our consignment now.He has not done something bad to MR.VICTOR SMITH and nothing is going badly.Everything is going smoothly because the consignment is already in AMSTERDAM.My mother is very happy about this,praise Allah.

Sir,you are advice to follow up all instructions from MR.TONY JONES to get consignment release to you when you arrive AMSTERDAM as he is the one in charge of the consignment now.

Regarding the proof you requested for,I shall be going to my mother to collect from her the CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT that was issued to my late father when he deposited the consignment with the security company.After then,I will scan it and send it to you as an attachement.

Thank you for your understanding that I do not have us$100 to send to you as a proof.Like you know we are relying on this us$30million to be okay in life.

Please endearvour to acknowledge the receipt of MR.TONY JONES fax by contacting him so he can give you more details on what will be require from you when coming to AMSTERDAM for the consignment to be release to you,I hope this is understood?.Also endearvour to furnish him with your flight details just as you have furnished me so he will be aware of when exactly you are coming to pick up the consignment.

IN-SHAH-ALLAH,we will achieve success at the end of this transaction and we are very happy to be associated with a honest man like you.This will definitely be an everlasting relationship between us.

May Allah reward you for your great concern about us.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

Ibrahim then sent the following email with a jpg of a "certificate of deposit". Neat.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 9:18 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT ATTACHED BELOW.

                             (THE HAWK).

Dear Sir,

Attached below is the CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT that was issued to my late father GEN.SANI ABACHA when he deposited the consignment with the security company(MID WESTERN SECURITY AND VAULT SERVICES B.V)which I promise to send.

I have received correspondence from MR.TONY JONES from AMSTERDAM that he has faxed you but uptill now you have not responded to the fax.Like I told you in my recent e-mail of today,MR.TONY JONES is the manager/officer in charge of our consignments in the security company's AMSTERDAM branch.He also made me to understand that he included his tel/fax numbers in the fax he sent to you but you have not call or fax him uptill now.Incase his telephone number is not visible to you in the fax,here is his telephone number he gave to me 31624170519,FAX number 31619078980.

The above telephone and fax numbers are the numbers where MR.TONY JONES can be reached.You are advice to please contact MR.TONY JONES on his telephone number for more update to be release to you about our consignments in his care in AMSTERDAM.

Fee free to contact and discuss with MR.TONY JONES,I have already told him that you are the beneficiary of the consignments and he said it is very important he talk to you on phone before your arrival to AMSTERDAM.So it is very important you call him to have a voice contact with him before leaving for AMSTERDAM.I have forwarded your telephone number to him and he complained is on answering machine.Please provide your direct telephone number where you can be reach.

IN-SHAH-ALLAH,we will achieve success as the consignment is already in AMSTERDAM.

Thanks for your great concern about us.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

Ibrahim now sort of acknowledges the references to DR ABAYOMI and writes to me, once again, AS the good doctor.

Byzantine...


From: drda@tangana.com [mailto:drda@tangana.com] On Behalf Of DR@sitemail.everyone.net
Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 10:05 AM
To: Dean Cameron
Subject: READ CAREFULLY.

DEAR DEAN,
HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY,HOPE FINE AND I HOPE EVERYTHING IS OKAY WITH YOU.PLEASE DON'T BE UPSET WITH MY BREAK IN COMMUNICATION WITH YOU,IT IS DUE TO SOME CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND THIS TRANSACTION WHICH WE HAVE AT HAND. MEANWHILE,I WILL ADVICE YOU TO CONTINUE WITH THE ABACHAS FOR NOW BECAUSE I AM STILL TRYING TO SECURE SOME THINGS REGARDING OUR DEAL IN A VERY SECURED MANNER BEFORE WE CONTINUE.BUT HAVE IT MIND THAT OUR MEETING IN MIAMI WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE FOR SOME SECURITY AND CONFIDENTIALITY REASONS WHICH I SHALL DISCLOSE TO YOU LATER ON.I WANT TO ALSO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO TELL YOU TO KEEP THE US$15,000 YOU WERE SURPOSE TO HAND-OVER TO ME IN MIAMI,I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW TO PASS THE MONEY TO ME IN A MORE RELIABLE AND CONVINIENT WAY.

I HOPE YOU ARE STILL ON LINE WITH THE ABACHAS,IT WILL BE MORE BETTER FOR YOU TO HELP THEM OUT ON TIME BECAUSE THEY ARE REALLY GOING THROUGH HELL IN THE HANDS OF OUR PRESENT GOVERNMENT.LIKE YOU SAID,SHE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL.INFACT SHE IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FIRST LADY THE FEDEARL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA HAS EVER HAD AND SHE WAS A VERY KIND AND GENEROUS WOMAN TO THE CITIZENS WHEN THEY WERE STILL IN POWER.

BEST REGARDS,
DR.DONALD ABAYOMI.

top

Now I have to write to the Faux Donald Abayomi!

Ah my relief that you are well and not some sort of prisoner by those diseased cockenlockers makes my heart soar like a guygax on the merry winds of change in the night of dreams!!!

My friend, I am soon to embark on a journey north of Florida (where I reside with my cats (you never responded regarding the photos. are you not a "cat person"?) Mister Snickers and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown) to a place known as Canaduh. I'm sure you've heard of it. They pride themselves on their beer and rotten health care.

Digression. Apologies!

Doctor: Mister Abitchoo, who you at first said was a fraud and then kindly assuaged my fears and said was, in fact, the genuine deal, has been confusing me of late. My attorney, Perry Mason, does not think Mister Ibrahim Abacha is for real and has aksed me to get mister Bnacho to send me some sort of token to prove that he is, in fact, true and honest. (I think he must be, for he invokes the name of Allah frequently. It must be truth, for believers in the one true G-d (allaha, natch) would never lie!!!! MEOW!)

Digression II - Electric Boogaloo. Please forgive me.

My point is this: Mister Abacho will need to be sending me something: a post card or a dollar or two or Mister Mason (my attorney and his partner (wink wink) Owen Marshall - Counsellor at Law) have forbade me to continue to do business with him. This is exactly what you did yourself; you sent me $100 via PayPal. I know that Mister Bachab can not afford this. (Poor man has been reduced to living hand to mouth, I fear... Not the princely type he once was. Sadness. Oh sadness. But I'm sure he can afford to at least send one dollar.)

This, I find, to be a tragedy of the utmost in tragedies (Lear-like in its scope, even (not John Lehr: King Lear) I say) as I find Mister Abenacho to be a fine person and it seems that since the death of his father, #1 ABnacho Presidential Prime Minister (you said he was a fine man) there is a certain Je Sais qua Non pareilil about him that is tense yet apprehensive.

Shy yet reserved. Blank yet colorless, in fact.

His mother, of course (The ultra-bootilicious Miram Abachoo) is a lovely lass. And I hope, in any case, to at least remain pals with them.

You, my mojoriffic buddy, shall have your money either way, though there may be some sort of delay.

The ease with which we brokered our first two transactions was, well, easy. I hope the subsequent transactions are, ass well.

Be good, kind sir. Be good.

---
Dean Cameron

top

Then, I immediately sent this off to Ibrahim:

(THE HAWK)

Sir.

I have this to say to you and I do hope you understand, good friend, on the holy neck of Allahah:

My attorney, Mister Perry Mason and his partner, Owen Marshall - Counselor at Law, are extremely excited and happy that we are going to enter in to this new revenue stream with you. There is a snag, however. Mister Mason said to me "Even a beggar can afford one dollar." Mister Mason and Mister Marshall - Counselor at Law are, by design, employed by me to be watchful over my affairs. I will spare you the details of the questions they had about you, your sweet "Madre", Miriamm, and your ability to conclude this transaction properly.

I have been directed to tell you that you must send some token of your seriousness to me before I depart for Canaduh in one week.

Please send something to:

DC Erkelberry c/o
xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Los Angeles, CA
xxxxx

ass soon as possible. It is imperative. Mister Mason is already upset with me for my debacle at Western Union. Though the money is sort of like nothing to me, they are, as I said, employed to keep me from wasting it. A card with at least one dollar or a note of some kind. Email and faxes are all well and good, said Mister Mason (his assistant, Ms. Street, cast a wayward eye at me: strumpet!) would prove that you are not a joker and simply wasting my time with a prank.

Oh, I am sure you are mad at me now, my friend. I want to help you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to extend my most intimate appendage across this great land of ours directly to you, amigo, and get you out of that pustule of a country and safe, safe, safe in Florida.

Friend, I understand if your mother now spits when you mention my name. Oh I am shamed, shamed, shamed.

You can't be aware of this as you are not here, but I have been away from this computer for ten minute softly crying. Please forgive, Ibriaaim. Please, in Allahha's mane.

Oh dear.

---
Dean Cameron

top

That Ibrahim, he's crafty (just my type!) and wrote me as Donald Abayomi! Clever man!


From: drda@tangana.com [mailto:drda@tangana.com] On Behalf Of DR@sitemail.everyone.net
Sent: Saturday, February 22, 2003 6:26 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: NEW DEVELOPMENT.

DEAR DEAN,

FIRST OF ALL,YOU ARE STRONGLY ADVICE NOT TO INVOLVE YOURSELF IN ANY OTHER TRANSACTION APART FROM THE ONE YOU HAVE WITH THE ABACHAS AND MYSELF.I HAVE REASONS FOR THAT.IF YOU WANT US TO CONTINUE,SIMPLY OBEY MY INSTRUCTION NOT TO HAVE ANY OTHER DEALINGS APART FROM ABACHAS AND MYSELF. HOW ARE YOU TODAY,HOPE FINE.WELL I JUST RECEIVED YOUR MAIL AND I DECIDED TO GET BACK TO YOU URGENTLY BECAUSE OF THE GOOD NEWS I HAVE REGARDING OUR TRANSACTION.I AM GLAD TO TELL YOU THAT WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DISCOVER NEW MEANS THROUGH WHICH THE MONEY CAN BE WIRE INTO YOUR ACCOUNT WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF THOSE MONITORING US. THE CENTRAL BANK WHERE THE MONEY IS,IS AFFILIATED TO ANOTHER BANK IN LONDON WHICH I SHALL DISCLOSE ITS NAME TO YOU UPON RECEIPT OF YOUR RESPONSE.WE HAVE INSTRUCTED THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA WHERE THE MONEY IS TO MOVE THE WHOLE MONEY TO THEIR AFFILIATE BANK IN LONDON AND IT WAS SUCCESSFUL. WE ADOPT THIS METHOD DUE TO THE FACT THAT SOME GOVERNMENTAL BODIES WERE MONITORING OUR COMMUNICATION WHICH I EARLIER DISCLOSE TO YOU.NOW IT IS ON SAFER SIDE IN THE SENSE THAT THEY CAN NO LONGER MONITOR ANY OF OUR COMMUNICATION AS YOU ARE GOING TO BE DEALING WITH THE BANK IN LONDON DIRECTLY BY YOURSELF FOR THE MONEY TO BE WIRE INTO YOUR ACCOUNT FROM LONDON. WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO NOW IS TO RE-CONFIRM TO ME YOUR BANKING PARTICULARS WHERE YOU WISH TO RECEIVE THE MONEY, YOUR COMPANY NAME AND YOUR PRIVATE TEL/FAX NUMBERS FOR SUBMISSION WITH THE BANK IN LONDON SO THAT THEY CAN START WORKING ON THE TRANSFER OF THE MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT BY NEXT WEEK. I SHALL ALSO FURNISH YOU WITH THE WEBSITE OF THE BANK WHERE YOU SHALL GET ALL THE RELEVANT INFORMATIONS YOU NEED ABOUT THE BANK.

THAT REMINDS ME,HOW FAR HAVE YOU GONE WITH THE ABACHAS.DO YOU THINK IT IS RELEVANT ASKING FOR MONEY AS PROOF FROM THE ABACHAS?DONT YOU THINK YOU ARE TO DEMAND FOR DOCUMENTED EVIDENCE REGARDING THE DEAL INSTEAD OF MONEY? TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE YOUR DECISION IS NOT RIGHT BY ASKING THE ABACHAS TO SEND YOU ONE OR TWO DOLLARS. THIS MIGHT DISCOURAGE THEM NOT TO CONTINUE THE DEAL WITH YOU OR TO HAVE A BAD URGE THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO BETRAY THEM.I THOUGHT YOU TOLD ME BEFORE THAT OUR FORMER FIRST LADY SENT YOU HER PHOTOS,DONT YOU THINK THAT IS A SIGN OF SERIIOUSNESS TOO?BECAUSE IS NOT EASY FOR A FOREIGNER TO SEE SUCH A REPUTABLE WOMAN'S PHOTO(MARIAM).I THINK YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD TO HELP SINCE YOU HAVE ALREADY PROMISED TO HELP THEM TO AVOID HEART BREAK OF OUR FORMER FIRST LADY (MARIAM).I ALSO THINK THAT YOU ARE A VERY LUCKY MAN TO HAVE BEEN ON TRANSACTIONAL DEALINGS WITH OUR FORMER FIRST LADY,EVEN MYSELF.

IN REGARDS TO THIS NEW DEVELOPMENT IN OUR DEAL,I WANT YOU TO HASTEN UP TO PROVIDE ALL THE ABOVE AFFORE-MENTIONED DETAILS SO I CAN SUBMIT IT WITH THE BANK IN LONDON SO THERE CAN BE PROGRESS IN THE DEAL.

BEST REGARDS,
DR.DONALD ABAYOMI.

top

Ibrahim's pissed:


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Saturday, February 22, 2003 7:41 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: I AM UPSET WITH THE CONTENTS OF YOUR MAIL.

(THE HAWK). Dear Sir,

Infact I am very upset with your mail response.In the first case,what are you taking us to be especially my mother who took her time to send to you her pictures only to please you to know her much better and how serious she is for you to help us.Now I'm surprise the situation has changed dramatically,you went ahead and start discussing our transaction with people we dont even know or heard of before.Well I must not blame you in any case,is just that my father is no longer alife and our present Government has choosen to be wicked to us because of my late father past military regime or are you telling me you did not receive the CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT of the consignment that was issued to my late father when he deposited the consignment with the security company which I sent to you yesterday?is that not enough as a proof?I understand the need for me to send the us$1 or us$2 as a proof also,but it will take like 14 or 15 working days before it get to you which will cause further delay.In this case,I will have to consult our family attorney by MONDAY to prepare a POWER OF ATTORNEY on your favour to prove to you that my mother has given you the full authority to receive the consignment from the security company in AMSTERDAM.Immediately this is done by monday,I will scan it and send it to you as an attachment, I hope this will be okay as a proof also?.

I expected to receive a good correspondence from you that you have contacted MR.TONY JONES in the security company in AMSTERDAM and finalise with him not knowing you have not done so uptill now.You are already aware that the consignment is in AMSTERDAM,why are you now trying to bring in some misunderstanding when we are already at the peak of this transaction?do you think ALLAH will be happy about this,no.

Sir,I believe by listening to your advisors will not help,it will rather delay or discourage you not to help us which we will not be happy about due to the fact that we have putting all our mind on you and also ruin my mother's dream of coming to reside with you in the US.Remember,you are also entitled to 25% of the us$30million if really you can help us.Do not be discouraged as you have already volunteered from the very beginning that you will help.

By now,MR.TONY JONES and MR.VICTOR SMITH must have been worried for not hearing from you as the beneficiary of the consignment.Sir,it will be of a good idea if you can contact MR.TONY JONES who is charge of our consignment and finanlise with him as regards the collection of the consignment before they start having negative thought of bringing the consignment back to NIGERIA since you as the beneficiary refuse to contact him.In this case,we will face the risk of loosing the whole money.Sir,I know you won't be happy to hear that we have loose the whole money, endearvour to get in touch with MR.TONY JONES as soon as possible and finanlise with him.I hope you have his number I included in my mail of yesterday.

IN-SHAH-ALLAH,do not entertain any discouragement becuase I believe ALLAH have purpose of bringing us together in this transaction and by the power of ALLAH,we must achieve success.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

Wow. Allah's mad, too! And Miriam's disappointed and mad. So mad that, after professing her love, she sends a jpg of her passport. Gee, maybe this is real!


From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Sunday, February 23, 2003 6:10 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: my international passport as a proof.

Dear Dean Cameron,
I felt shock in my body after going through your mail this morning which my son forwarded to me.I thought by now you would have remove doubt from your mind against me and my son.This is one of the main resons why I decided to sent you my pictures which you did not request for only to make you understand that I'm serious with my very first mail to you "I NEED YOUR HELP".Why have you choosen to be doubting us at the middle or extreme end of this transaction?

My son came to me and collect from me the deposit certificate which the security company gave to my late husband when he deposited the consignment with them.He told me you request for proof and as such he came to me and I gave him the certificate to send to you for you to be convinced.But now it amaze me that you still dont believe me and my son.Remember the consignment was moved to Amsterdam based on the fact that you said you will help us to go and clear it.I thought it will give you a great joy that the consignment is already in Amsterdam for your pick up.My son also told me that the officer in charge of the consignment in Amsterdam has contacted you but you did not get back to him.I must tell you the fact that I'm not happy with the present situation of things now,most especially your failure or unwillingness to contact the officer in charge of the consignment in Amsterdam which is the most important thing you were surpose to do.

Now I ask you a question,will it sound good to you if we loose the us$30million?which me and my family are relying on,or are you trying to disorganise or scatter our plans of living together in the same house?please don't let it be because the intention of living with you is already in me,do not break my heart because you are the first man I have decided to love ever since I lost my husband.

Again,I have attached below the first three pages of my international passport as a proof of our seriousness.

May Allah not let confusion take place between us because we have trust you and relied on you so much.

Thanks and Allah bless you,
Dr.Mrs.Mariam Abacha.

top
Fight fire with fire. How crazy can I get and keep him interested. Let's see...

From: "dean cameron" d ean@mighty cheese.com
Reply-To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
To: "abacha marian" marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk
CC: "'ibrahim abacha'" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
Subject: why
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 2003 23:36:33 -0800

(THE HAWK)

Why do you conspire to break my heart? All I want is an assurance of your seriousness. A couple of .jpgs don't help me. Mister Perry Mason and Owen Marshall - Counselor at Law laughed.

The passport says "Special Peculiarities: NIL". Della Street, Perry Mason's trusty secretary looked it up in one of her many books and it said that NIL means Nigerian Is Lying.

NIGERIAN IS LYING!!!

Right on the passport! Can this be true, my newest friends?

(I am back now. I had to put the sheets in the dryer and sob a little bit more.)

You taunt me with phone numbers that don't work and promises of

1) Untold Wealth
2) Life with the most beautiful Mriama Acahba
3) New friends in Asmeterdmam
4) A flea dip for Mister Snickers (I know, you've said nothing of this... It's a promise I've made to myself. Ignore it.)
5) A chance to help two people of obvious royalty.
6) Some other stuff.
7) Friends to share my wealth with here in lonely Florida, where no German Tourist is safe!
8) DLH, DLH, DLH, DLH!!! WHAT IS DLH? THERE IS NO DLH!!!

And all I aks is for you to extend yourself one tiny bit and send a measely ONE DOLLAR two me. I AM SPENDING OVER TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS ON MY FLIGHT FROM ONTURDIO TO AMSTERDAMN! What's mine is yours, my best friends, but to withhold a token (pardon) of trust from me makes my meat loaf.

Oh, the sobs are terrifying my pussies.

Don't be confused with the car SAAB and the tears from me.

Why? Oh why my gentle oysters?

Meow.

---
Dean Cameron

top

That calmed him down. See for yourself.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, February 25, 2003 2:21 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: WE WILL NOT BREAK YOUR HEART,WE ARE ONE.

(THE HAWK)

Dear Sir,

I am in receipt of your mail,how was journey to and fro,hope it was all well,if yes praise ALLAH.How is MISTER SNICKERS and JOE JOE THE DANCING CLOWN,I hope they are doing fine.

I wish to let you know that we did not and we will never conspire to break your heart.We were only upset with the contents of your last mail regarding the discussion of this transaction with people we dont even know before.

The NIL which you use to mean NIGERIA IS LYING is not true.I do not furnish you with telephone number that dont work.I keep wondering why you find it difficult to get through to my number.I repeat the number again 234-8033262593.Just dial as it is right listed.2348033262593 and I promise you will get through.

I never furnish you with anything DLH,please cross check very well.I furnish you with DHL which means a courier service through which something can be send from one country to another.It is called DHL service and it is very fast in delivering something to recipient.

Like I said in my last mail,I understand the need for me to send you just us$1 or $2,but it will take 14 to 15 days to get to the address in USA which will delay this transaction again,I hope this is understood?.

In the issue of spending us$2000 for your flight to AMSTERDAM,do not let that bother you as we have set aside 10% of the us$30million to re-imburse you for any expenses incure by you,so do not entertain any fear in this regard.

Be also informed that our trust on you still remain the same.So keep your dreams of living with my beautiful mother,meeting new friends in AMSTERDAM and friends to share your wealth with in lonely FLORIDA alive,we are still one and we will always be one.

What we need you to do now urgently is to contact MR.TONY JONES in AMSTERDAM who is in charge of our consignment because they are worried uptill now you have not acknowledge the receipt of his fax.Again,MR.VICTOR SMITH(the cargo manager from the security company in NIGERIA)who help us to move the consignment to AMSTERDAM is still in AMSTERDAM uptill now because you have not contacted them.Infact they are waiting for you to contact them in AMSTERDAM so that everything can be finanlise once and for all to get the consignment release to you when you arrive AMSTERDAM.I hope your flight schedule still remain the same?.

Our good friend from FLORIDA,do not be bothered we will not break your heart.I believe ALLAH have purpose of bringing us together,so lets trust ourselves.

Once again,endearvour to contact MR.TONY JONES who is in charge of our consignment in AMSTERDAM.Incase you have forgotten his number,I list it for you again 31624170519.He is waiting for your contact.

May ALLAH reward you for your great concern about us.
Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

A little more nuttines. It couldn't hurt...

From: "Dean Cameron" d ean@mighty cheese.com
To: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: WE WILL NOT BREAK YOUR HEART,WE ARE ONE.
Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 10:46:03 -0800

DHL! DHL is a courier service. Why didn't you say this? I know of DHL.

You should use DHL to send a postcard or one dollar. Then you will get your money. It won't take 14 days. Even if it does take 14 days, isn't the safety and happiness of your MOTHER important? Do you not care for her, Ibaraphim?

I think you don't care for her if you let one dollar stand in the way of my attorneys letting me help you.

Shame.

In other news. We had the most glorious sunset last night. I watched the fireflies dance softly along the shores of the pond outside of my poolhouse. Joe Joe watched from the window (he is not allowed outside (and prefers the solitude inside when I am gone from time to time (not too much) it is time for "kitty reflection" for him, methinks) even if there are mice (rare!) to catch) while I stroked my pet pussy, Mister Snickers, who purred to me.

It is so very lonely. Even with Kwan.

His teeth are bad.

---
Dean Cameron

top

Either I've broken his spirit, tipped my hand or he's actually going to send me the money.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, February 25, 2003 11:32 AM
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Subject: THE $1 WILL BE SEND TOMORROW.

Dear Sir,

I have received your mail and the contents are well noted.I care for my mother so much.Since you still insisted for the one dollar to be send to your attorney before you help,by tomorrow the one dollar will be on his way to your attorney.

Mean-while,try and be in touch with MR.TONY JONES who is in charge of our consignment in AMSTERDAM because by waiting for the one dollar to get to your attorney first will delay your been in contact with MR.TONY JONES,I hope this is understood?.

May ALLAH reward you for your concern about us.
Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

Just to make things interesting, I wrote Ibrahim from another email address as Perry Mason. The address is BORSE(@)securityedition.com, so I used Perry's full name: Borse Perry Mason. I thought that including one nutty parenthetical would help Ibrahim see why Perry's "Dean's" attorney.

The name is a misspelling of my real last name and the address is a work address. If he actually sends the money, I'll get it.

Also, a reference to Penn & Teller and the rotten Screen Actors Guild.

From: "Security Edition - Help Desk" borse@securityedition.com
To: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
Subject: Regarding My Client - Dean Cameron
Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 15:14:53 -0800

(THE HAWK)

Mister Abacha,

My client, Dean Cameron, has brought me up to date regarding your wonderful transaction. He has, however, expressed his concerns to me regarding my concerns regarding your business venture.

Please understand that Mister Cameron is quite high strung, "sensitive" and bit lonely and can be susceptible to those who would do him wrong.

I hope you understand that I am keeping his best interests at heart. It is what my firm has been employed to do by Mister Cameron and his family. When he mentioned this to me last week, I asked him to forward all correspondence to me so that my partner, Mister Owen Marshall - Counselor at Law, and myself could verify that your proposal is, in fact, a valid one.

Although some of the particulars seem a bit fuzzy, we have given our "blessing" if you will, to this moneymaking venture with the caveat of the one (1) dollar sent via DHL to my paralegal

DC Erkelberry C/O xxxxxxxxx xxxx xxxxx Blvd. xxxx Los Angeles, CA Once Mister Erkelberry informs me that the "token of trust" has arrived, rest assured that our business venture will proceed at an unparalleled speed.

I have the fax and phone numbers that you have sent along to my client. Mister Cameron will be attending to some real estate business in Canada in the next week. If he is not able to contact you from there (though they profess to be part of the technological west, the Canadian telecom infrastructure is designed and maintened solely by Canadians, many of them French-Canadians, and is, therefore, substandard.) then either myself or Mister Marshall - Counselor at Law will contact you.

In closing, I understand that Mister Cameron has requested the inclusion of (THE HAWK) at the head of all correspondence between you and him. I fear that this may be a bit of his "sensitivity" asserting itself and though I would never advise you to NOT include it in your correspondence with my client, I feel it unneccessary to continue to use it if any further correspondence between you, Mister Abacha, and myself is required. In short, there is no need to include (THE HAWK) in your emails to me, sir.

(I have included it in this email as an illustration of my respect of the delicate nature of this transaction.)

Thank you for presenting this opportunity to Mr. Cameron.

---
Mister Borse Perry Mason
Mason/Marshall/Street & Paul LLC., P&T - SAG
Los Angeles, CA

top

Then: These two. The second arrived within three hours after the first one. He could be fucking with me some more. He is, after all, a lying scumbag scammer.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, February 26, 2003 12:39 AM
To: borse@securityedition.com
Subject: ON MY WAY TO SEND THE US$2.

Dear Perry,
I am in receipt of your mail and the contents are well noted.I understand the need for you to come into this mutual business transaction.However,I am on my way to the post office to send to your office address in CALIFORNIA the us$2.I will keep you informed after sending the us$2.
How is DEAN CAMERON,I hope he is okay and his kats.My regards to him and please tell him on my way to send the us$2.
Best Regards,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, February 26, 2003 4:18 AM
To: borse@securityedition.com
Subject: I HAVE SEND THE US$2.

Dear Perry,

I just returned from the post office where I went to send the us$2 to your address:
DC Erkelberry
C/O xxxxxx
XXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX
Los Angeles, CA

They said it will get to you in the next seven days from today. Please update DEAN CAMERON about this.

Best Regards,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

If I get the 2 bucks, no one rules more than me. Right? Right.

Oh yeah, I've also opted him in for every email newsletter and porn spam I could find today.

While waiting for the money (I'm skeptical but full of hope) I thought I'd send this one off to Ibrahim.

----- Original Message -----
From: Dean Cameron
To: ibrahim abacha
Sent: Thursday, February 27, 2003 6:34 PM
Subject: Oh Canada!

My good buddy!

Mister Mason called me today. He was most kind (He always is, it's Della who is often a sourpuss) to me, as he knows that I depart for Candada early next week. Mister Mason mentioned that he has corresponded with you, Ibrahim.

I do feel terrible regarding his suggestion about that UTTERLY MINISCULE amount of american dollars, but after his explanation, it seems like a good thing. For both of us, my friend.

His paralegal, (whose last name I will not even ATTEMPT to spell) in Los Angeles is supposed to contact Mr. Mason (or Marshall - Counselor at Law) who will then contact me.

I am sure I will burst into tears of joy with the news.

Vanguard has already cut the check.

Oh, this has taken some time, hasn't it, my friend. But, that money (and most importantly, your lovely mother, Mirriam) cry for safety and peace. I understand.

I am excited, excited, excited.

Kwan has been put on "alert". The ungrateful wretch. He has ruined several of my finest Turkish Bathtowels after an incident with two "friends" he met at a truckstop. Scandalous. I think I may have to be done with him.

My son, who I have spoken of with you, has been filled in a bit more on our transaction. You will enjoy this. "Poppy", he said to me, "your luck in business is always amazing." He seemed genuinely happy, Ibrahim. You are not a parent, but I can tell you that to hear your own child happy is akin to hearing the happiness of a child. He also said this: "How many millions do you need, Poppy, until you rest?!"

It is so sweet of him. I don't know that he understands that his fortune was made somewhat on the backs of the unfortunate. Though I did nothing truly wrong, the method with which my "bread" was earned can be looked at as a bit "shady" if you will. To enter into this venture with you, however, seems to clear the air for me. I am helping people less fortunate than myself.

And that, is what Alhahl spoke about, is it not.

I will be staying at the Hotel Pulitzer in Samsterdam, my friend. I stayed there with my son many years ago on the twilight of his virginity. It is a swell place. Do you know it?

We will have tea and watch the water, friend.

I am doing good finally.

Please. A word to your mother.

---
Dean Cameron

top

I suspect Ibrahim may be on to me. Not sure. We'll see...

----- Original Message -----
From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: deanatmightycheese.com
Sent: Friday, February 28, 2003 4:42 AM
Subject: I AM HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU TODAY.

                                    (THE HAWK).

Dear Sir,

I am very happy to hear from you today although you forgot to include our code of communication(THE HAWK).Also it sounds good to me about your son's happiness in your success in business,may ALLAH bless him.

Yes,MISTER MASON contacted me in the issue of sending the us$2 to his paralegal CALIFORNIA address which I have sent already.According to the post office where I went to send it,the us$2 will arrive CALIFORNIA on the 4th or 5th of MARCH.I hope this sound good to you also.

I understand uptill now,you have not contacted MR.TONY JONES who is in charge of our consignment in AMSTERDAM.Like I have told you before,it is very important you contact MR.TONY JONES before departing for AMSTERDAM because he said there are some forms he will send to you to fill as the beneficiary and return back to him in AMSTERDAM before you depart for AMSTERDAM.Not only that to enable one of the protocol in their office receive you at the airport when you arrive AMSTERDAM.I advice you try as much as possible to get in touch with MR.TONY JONES while MISTER MASON is still waiting for the us$2.This will also enable you conclude all the necessary arrangements with MR.TONY JONES for the collection of the consignments in his custody in AMSTERDAM.

Sir,be rest assured that ALLAH have purpose of bringing us together and IN-SHAH-ALLAH success shall be our portion.

I understand the need for your KWAN to be fired,why dont you give him last chance and see if he will misbehave again before you tell him off and ALLAH can as well reward you for this.

How is your business venture in CANADA,I hope it is all going well or are you back to USA?PRAISE ALLAH.

May ALLAH reward you for your great concern about us.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

Concern about Kwan. Sweet!

                                    (THE HAWK!)

Oh my!!!! I did forget to include our secret communication code in my last email to you, sir. Thank you for
a)recongizing that it was me
2)alerting me to my error!!!

I am emberesed.

But, we move on, do we not? We do!

I am not in Canada yet. I depart Monday. I have just returned from the Mall where I purchased a dashing new sweatervest/jodpuhr ensemble. Kwan (who I took with me (you are correct, I should fire him, but he is a delight to have around (when he's not getting in trouble) and a good companion) as a sort of sherpa (I knew I'd be purchasing many garments) to help me with my packages) took a photo of me which I've attached. I hope you enjoy it. Perhaps you will pass it along to your mother.

How is she? How is her health. You had mentioned that she fell ill and I'm hoping and praying to Alah that she is feeling much more labial than she had previously.

Sir. This is quite an embarrasment to me still: The telephone number you provided me with still does not work. When I dial it, I get a "this number is not in service" audio message.

However, I tried something:

I called information in Admeserdam and aksed for a number for Tony Jones. They didn't have Tony Jones listed. However, they had someone (I'm going to guess on the spelling, forgive me) named Thierry Johanneesskock. So I got his number.

A woman answered and I asked to speak to him. There was a long pause and she said in that delightful accent "No English!". I mentioned that, perhaps, Thierry Johanneeeskahk (who may or may not be her husband), spoke English. A bit louder she said (after a sigh and a pause) "NO ENGLISH" and hung up the phone. I thought that maybe I neglected something so I called back immediately (phone service is stunningly amazing, yes?) and said "THE HAWK".

She simply hung up.

So, my theory was incorrect (science is error correcting!). I thought it was, as we say here "a longshot", and it was.

Please check to insure that you are giving me the correct number. Or, as always, mister Jones may contacte me.

Codspeed, sir.

---
Dean Cameron

top Who is zooming who, I ask...

----- Original Message -----
From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Sent: Saturday, March 01, 2003 6:12 AM
Subject: MY.TONY JONES TEL.NUMBER. 31624170519

                               (THE HAWK).

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your mail response.I did not see your photo which you have attached,may be you will have to re-send it to me again as we will love to see it.My mother is doing fine although she is still under medication,she will be fully alright shortly.

Uptill now,it still give me a great surprise you are unable to get through to my phone line.Are you sure you dial it as I listed for you?that is 2348033262593.Sir,please dial it again as it is right listed,do not add or subtract any number and I promise you will get through to me.Just keep on trying it as it is always on 24hrs of the day.OR you will have to send to me your direct phone line I can get you because the one you sent to me before is permanently on answering machine,MR.TONY JONES also complained the same thing.

Sir,it had my best attention that you called information in AMSTERDAM and start asking for MR.TONY JONES's number,why do you have to call information,information has nothing to render to you as far as our transaction is concern.I already furnish you with MR.TONY JONES telephone number where you can get him but I'm surprise you went ahead and start calling information in AMSTERDAM which is not in any way related to our dealings.Please you are strongly advice not to contact any information again from now on because they are not aware of our transaction.MR TONY JONES is the one in charge of our consignments in AMSTERDAM and he is the only one you should contact not information.I requote MR.TONY JONES number again 31624170519.Please call this number and you will get MR.TONY JONES,I hope this is clear?.

I should expect to hear from you in your next mail that you have contacted MR.TONY JONES.

May ALLAH bless you for your great concern about us.

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

A few days go by and they play the "mom wants you" card...

----- Original Message -----
From: "abacha marian" marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 8:56 AM
Subject: I hope no problem.

My Dearest Dean, Greetings to you and your family.Its been a long time,how is everything over there,I hope fine.My son told me about your caring words about me while I was with my personal physician under going medical treatment,praise Allah I'm back to normal.

My son told me he has not heard from you for some days now,I hope no problem?and he also told me you have not contacted the officer who is in charge of our consignments in Amsterdam,why have you not contacted them,dont you think he will be worried in Amsterdam for not hearing from you as the beneficiary of the consgnments in his custody and dont you also think that the consignments has arrive Amsterdam for a long time now and there is need for you to contact the officer?please I want you to immediately contact the officer Mr.Tony Jones so as for you to conclude every necessary arrangements for the collection of the consignments before you travel there yourself.That reminds me,when likely will you be in Amsterdam?.

I want you to e-mail me back for me to know you receive my mail.

May bless you,
Dr.Mrs.Mariam Abacha.

top

Ibrahim's getting worried, too, and writes a note to "Perry Mason".

----- Original Message -----
From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: borse@securityedition.com
Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2003 3:10 AM
Subject: HAVE YOU RECEIVE THE US$2?.

Dear MISTER PERRY,

How are you and your family,hope fine.I'm writing to know if you have receive the us$2 in your paralegal in CALIFORNIA,because according to the post office,you are surpose to receive it yesterday or today.E-mail me back to update me if you have receive it or not.

How is your client DEAN CAMERON,I hope he is fine,for some few days now I have not heard from him.My regards to him.

Best Regards,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

Laying the groundwork to get Ibrahim to help "Perry Mason" scam "Dean Cameron" out of $150k...
Perry Mason writes to "Doctor Abayomi", (remember: He is actually Ibrahim (parentheticals are cool!) Abacha).

From: Security Edition - Help Desk
To: DR@sitemail.everyone.net ; DONALD@sitemail.everyone.net ; ABAYOMI@sitemail.everyone.net ; drda@tangana.com
Sent: Thursday, March 06, 2003 2:28 PM
Subject: Introduction

Doctor Abayomi,

I represent Mister Dean Cameron.

I believe you have been in contact with him regarding an investment opportunity.

Mister Cameron has been corresponding with a Mister Ibrahim Abacha and his mother, Miriam, son and daughter, respectively, of the late Nigerian leader, regarding a transfer of money. Unfortunately, Mister Abacha has been unable to provide us with the smallest of tokens of his seriousness in regards to the security and trust involved in the transaction so we are, sadly, not going to be able to continue our work with him or his mother.

My client, Mr. Cameron, does not know of this as of yet and it will surely cause him great consternation which is why I am contacting you, sir.

Please inform me of your opportunity as soon as possible. Mister Cameron is in Canada at the moment and I would like to have the details with you ironed out before he returns. He is scheduled to travel to Amsterdam next week but, due to Mister Abacha's reluctance to cooperate with me and my partner, Owen Marshall - Counselor at Law, I am going to advise my client to cancel his trip to The Netherlands.

Thank you for your assistance with this delicate matter.

---
Mister Borse Perry Mason
Mason/Marshall/Street & Paul LLC., P&T - SAG
Los Angeles, CA

top

"Dean" is in Canada working on a big real estate deal and sends this to Miriam!

----- Original Message -----
From: "Dean Cameron" d ean@mighty cheese.com
To: "abacha marian" marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Thursday, March 06, 2003 2:48 PM
Subject: Re: I hope no problem.

I am in Canada.

The people are slow and it is so cold I can not think.

I miss my cats.

---
Dean Cameron

top

A reader sent me a photo of a kitten sleeping in food. Why wouldn't Ibrahim want to see it?

----- Original Message -----
From: Security Edition - Help Desk
To: ibrahim abacha
Sent: Thursday, March 06, 2003 4:07 PM
Subject: Regarding Mister Cameron

Mister Erkelberry has not yet received the "token of trust" so we will remain "on hold". I appreciate your understanding regarding the delay, Mister Abacha.

As you understand that Dean Cameron is a bit unconventional, he has asked me to send you this photo of his cat, Mister Snickers, sleeping in his food, when it was a kitten. I do hope you understand that I must indulge his whims.

Dean is in Canada at this moment. I have not heard from him other than his directive to send this photo to you.

I trust that this is not some sort of "secret code" between the both of you and that you would inform me if it was.

I hope all is well, sir.

---
Mister Borse Perry Mason
Mason/Marshall/Street & Paul LLC., P&T - SAG
Los Angeles, CA

click to enlarge this 
cute photo!

top

I never got the money from them. What a surprise!

A couple of cool developments. Because of this correspondence, I've been invited to speak at an annual meeting of Bunco Cops in Chicago this coming September (2003). I'm also performing excerpts from this at the Sacred Fools Theater in Los Angeles June 14th and 21st.

The most exciting development is that a friend of mine, Robert, is going to be in Amsterdam this coming week (May 14 - 22, 2003) and has graciously offered to attempt to get a photo of one of the scammers at a meeting place. Maybe he'll get killed. That would really send the hit rate on this site through the roof!

The following are the guilting letters that I received after not receiving the two bucks that he PROMISED to send! (lying bastard!)

Then the second wave of letters from me and their quick and desperate replies.

Enjoy.

From: "Dean Cameron"
To: "ibrahim abacha"
Subject: cold
Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2003 14:34:11 -0800

it is cold here. i am cold. there are many people saying things i do not understand. i am in canada. please help me.
Dean Cameron



From: "abacha marian" marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk
To: "Dean Cameron" de an@mightycheese.com
Sent: Friday, March 07, 2003 7:21 AM
Subject: I hope you are fine/I love you.

My Dearest Dean,
It's nice hearing from you,at least I have know your whereabout.CANADA you said is cold,please try and adapt to the weather and make yourself feel okay.

How is everything going in CANADA,I hope smooth,if so praise Allah.I guess you have not completed your project in CANADA or have you?.When are you coming back to USA,I hope soon so as to enable you contact Mr.Tony Jones in Amsterdam.I hope you have the correct number of Mr.Tony Jones now because my son told me he has forwarded it to you again after receiving correspondence from you that you were calling info in Amsterdam asking for Mr.Tony Jones telephone number.

My Dearest Dean,we have come along way and everyday,I still somehow feel bad and sad that uptill now we have not concluded this transaction.You know how much we are relying on the funds,please try as much as possible as you can to get in touch with Mr.Tony Jones to conclude with him on the collection of the consignments.

Once again,I hope you are doing fine.I can really see you are missing your kats,I guess that is why you did'nt took your time to write me as you use to.I will be waiting to hear from you to let me know if you have receive this mail.

May Allah bless you,
Dr.Mrs.Mariam Abacha.

From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: dean@mi ghtycheese.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2003 2:10 AM
Subject: HOW ARE WE SURE YOU ARE STILL WILLING TO HELP?.

(THE HAWK).
Dear Sir,

Is good hearing from you today.By now I thought we must have concluded this transaction with you but it is very unfortunate that there is a big delay in this transaction.

I do not understand very well regarding what you said that there are so many people saying things you do not understand in CANADA,please clearify and I hope you are not discussing about us with people over there?.

How is your project in CANADA?I hope it is going smoothly,if yes praise ALLAH.

I learnt uptill now you have still not contact MR.TONY JONES in AMSTERDAM?why,now my mother is doubting if you are still willing to help or not due to your unwillingness to contact MR.TONY JONES who is in charge of our consignment in AMSTERDAM.Now the consignments has become totally stranded in AMSTERDAM,and remember it is our future hope and it is because of the assurance you gave to us that you will help that we instructed the security company to move the consignments to their AMSTERDAM office.Now you refuse to contact them in AMSTERDAM,how are we still sure that you will help us?

Thanks and ALLAH bless you,
MOHAMMED ABACHA.

From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: dean@mightycheese .com
Sent: Saturday, March 15, 2003 1:57 AM
Subject: WHY THE DELAY IN CANADA?.

Dear Sir,

It has come to my best attention that uptill now you are still in CANADA,When then are you coming back to your country so you can contact MR.TONY JONES in AMSTERDAM?

Like you know,you have delayed this transaction for so long,we thought by now everything would have been completed which makes me to ask again,why the delay?.Is your project in CANADA not through yet?what is still delaying it.Awaiting your urgent response.

May ALLAH bless you for your concern,

Thanks,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

From: "abacha marian" marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk
To: dean@mightychees e.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 18, 2003 10:04 AM
Subject: Long time my dear.

My Dearest Dean,

For some time now,you have not e-mailed me,what is the problem.How is everything with you there in CANADA,I hope things are going well as you desire.When are you coming back to US,I hope it will be soon.

Just to let you know that I'm still counting on you to help me.

May Allah Bless you,
Dr.Mrs.Mariam Abacha.

From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: d ean@mightycheese.com
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2003 12:27 PM
Subject: WHY HAVE U FORGOTTEN ABOUT US?.

Dear Sir,

I and my mother are very surprise you could pay us a deaf attention like this.Is going to two weeks now we did not hear from you and MISTER MASON,what is happening?are you still in CANADA or what.Please kindly email me to let us know if you are still willing to help us clear the consignments from MR.TONY JONES in AMSTERDAM or not because we are purely in the dark for not hearing from you ever since.

May Allah be with you where ever you are,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top


From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: d ean@mighty cheese.com
Sent: Thursday, April 10, 2003 3:39 AM
Subject: what is going on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear dean,

What is going on? I have sent series of mails without reply. please let me know if you will still help us or not.
thanks and God bless.

IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top

And now, without further ado... more scamming...

From: Dean Cameron
To: ibrahim abacha ; marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Wednesday, May 07, 2003 2:56 PM
Subject: I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!

Ibrahim and Mariam!

I am so sorry that I have not been in contact. When I was in Canada, I was thought to have contracted a minor case of SARS and was quarantined for the last month in that allah forsaken country! It was horrible with a Capital YUCK!

All is better now. I am back in Flourida with my cats, Mister Snickers and Joe Joe the Dancing Clown!

Here is the good news for all of us. (Oh, I hope that I have not missed this opportunity to help you and make some cash AND find myself taking long, moonlight walks on my property with Mme. Abacha!)

I will be in Amsterdamn next week!! I will be available to make contact with you on the 15th! I am so, so, so, excited to MEAT you finally after all of these months.

(There was a travel restriction placed on me because of SARS but it is all okay now and it wasn't actually SARS, but rather my spastic colon, which I believe I had mentioned to you. Picnic. NO!)

Oh, Ibrahim, Ibrahim, Ibrahim. Please return to my life!

Dean Cameron


From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: dean@mightychees e.com
Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2003 10:05 AM
Subject: MAKE SURE YOU CONTACT MR.TONY JONES BEFORE DEPARTING FOR AMSTERDAM.

Dear Sir,

I am infact very surprised to receive your mail today and I know my mother will also be surprised.I and my mother have already concluded that you have refuse to help us but then,we were praying for you since then to come back to us.I am very happy you are back to FLORIDA and I believe this time,you will not waist anytime further to contact MR.TONY JONES and depart for AMSTERDAM to go and clear the funds.

I hope you still have MR.TONY JONES contact telephone number?Please make sure you contact MR.TONY JONES before you depart for AMSTERDAM.This is also to enable a protocol officer in the security company in AMSTERDAM held by MR.TONY JONES receive you at the Airport as soon as you arrive AMSTERDAM.Also make sure you furnish MR.TONY JONES your flight details and also forward the flight details to me to enable them know when you will arrive AMSTERDAM.

Dont be surprised my mother has not reply your mail,she is not feeling fine,she is under medication.She will email you when she get better.

Once again,contact MR.TONY JONES immediately.

Thanks and ALLAH bless you,
IBRAHIM ABACHA(yours friend and partner).


top

To: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: MAKE SURE YOU CONTACT MR.TONY JONES BEFORE DEPARTING FOR AMSTERDAM.
Date: Thu, 8 May 2003 14:03:25 -0700

Because of the magnetic storm here (I'm sure you read about it) my ASxII was erased and my contact info for mister Tony Jones (ANOTHER NEW FRIEND) was lost.

I have several of your emails printed out (and locked away in my investment folder, right next to my Vanguard Fund info), but the medication the lousy Canadians gave me makes handling paper sort of excruciating. Perhaps you could re-send mister Johnes contact info to me.
I AM SO CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR MOTHER, MISS MARIAM B-NACHO! PLEASE PRAY TO ALLAH FOR HER! IT WORKS LIKE A CHARM!
Dean Cameron



From: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
To: dea n@mightycheese.com
Sent: Friday, May 09, 2003 4:56 AM
Subject: THE CONTACT TELEPHONE NUMBER OF MR.TONY JONES.

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your mail response.I have updated my mother today that you are back in communication with us and she was over-whelmed with joy,although she is still undergoing treatment.

The contact telephone number for MR.TONY JONES is 31 624 170 519 and the fax number is 31 205 241 573.I re-quote again:MR.TONY JONES CONTACT INFO.

TELEPHONE NUMBER:31 624 170 519

FAX NUMBER:31 205 241 573

As a matter of urgency,you should contact MR.TONY JONES during Europe working hours immediately you this mail to conclude all the necessary arrangement with him for the collection of the consignments before you depart USA for AMSTERDAM.

Endearvour to get back to me after contacting MR.TONY JONES.

Thanks and ALLAH bless you,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

Miriam returns to me!
top


From: "abacha marian" marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk
To: "Dean Cameron" d ean@mighty cheese.com
Sent: Saturday, May 10, 2003 5:55 AM
Subject: You are welcome back from Canada.

My dearest Dean,
Greetings to you and your family.What a great relief to me when my son told me you are back from Canada to help us.I'm a little bit relief from my illness now after going through your email and I hope this time around,you will surely solve the whole situation in Amsterdam without any delay.

How was your stay in Canada,hope it was fine and cool,and how are your beautiful cats,I hope they are also fine and heathy.

My son told me you lost some files in your mail box and as such you dont have Mr.Tony Jones telephone number anymore.He told me he has already forward Mr.Tony Jones telephone and fax numbers to you again to enable you be in touch with him before you travel to Amsterdam.I hope you have received the telephone number?if yes,I want you to immediately be in touch with Mr.Tony Jones to finanlise everything with him before you travel there to receive the boxes of the funds in Amsterdam.

I hope you are already getting yourself ready for Amsterdam?I will like you to update me how far with your travelling arrangement in your next mail and I will also like to hear in your next mail that you have be in touch with Mr.Tony Jones and that everything have been finanlise.

May ALLAH reward you and bless you for your great concern about me and my family and IN-SHAH-ALLAH we will achieve success this time around without any delay.

I am waiting to hear from you soon.

Thanks and ALLAH bless you,
Dr.Mrs.Mariam Abacha.

top


While waiting for my friend to return (alive?!) from Amsterdam, here are the latest bits of correspondence.

In other news, the first reading of "URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL - DEAN CAMERON'S NIGERIAN SCAM SCAM" went quite well.

Praise Allah.

From: "Dean Cameron"
To: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
Cc: marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Monday, May 12, 2003 3:48 PM
Subject: Re: THE CONTACT TELEPHONE NUMBER OF MR.TONY JONES.

Hello my muffin from the south!

I am off to Amasterdam tonight! I will call Mister Jones upon arrival. Please let him know that Dean from Florida will be contacting him. I will have a check for the transfer fee and will be able to cut another check for any other sort of deposit he may need to help you and your sweetcheeks of a mother out of that place you call a cuntry!

Please let mister Jones know that I will contact him Thursday or Friday. I am sending a copy of this to you mother, Fraulein Benacho!


top


From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2003 2:57 AM
To: dean@mig htycheese.com
Subject: THANKS FOR THE MAIL.

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your mail response and update.I am very happy to hear that you will be off to AMSTERDAM tonight.It would have been better you contact MR.TONY JONES before departing for AMSTERDAM so that a protocol officer in their office will receive you at the Airport upon arrival to AMSTERDAM.Since you insisted you will contact him upon arrival to AMSTERDAM,it is still okay.

You should endearvour to contact me also as soon as you arrive AMSTERDAM to update me with the situation of things.

Thanks and ALLAH bless you,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top



From: Perry Mason
To: ibrahim abacha ; marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2003 6:12 PM
Subject: regarding Dean Cameron

Hello again, Mister Ahbbacha.
Please forgive Mister Cameron's delay while in Canada. He had a serious breakdown due to the odd speech patterns and constant questions by the citizens of our slow brothers to the North. He may or may not have mentioned this to you. He is "delicate".

Mister Cameron is on his way to Amsterdam as we speak, I rode with him and Kwan to the airport. young Kwan will be staying with me here in Los Angeles until Mister Cameron's return.

I need your assurance that my client will be safe while in Amsterdam. A man of his wealth is often a target for those wishing to do him wrong. I have read several accounts of shady business proceedings being done from places such as Nigeria and Zimbabwe. Of course, I am in no way implying that you are involved in anything shady, but having never received the token of trust from you, your mother or this Tony Jones, I must, as you may understand, express concern.

Mister Cameron will be contacting your associate, Mister Tony Jones upon his arrival.

Please, if you have any concerns or questions regarding my client, please do not hesitate to write or call. 310 26443

I am looking forward to entering into this business with you, sir.

A merry tinkle upon your vas defrens, my friend.

---
Perry Mason
Wie, Cheatum & Howe - LLC.

top


Ibrahim's respectful reply to Perry Mason.

Dear Mister Perry Mason,

Thank you very much for your update that mister DEAN has departed for AMSTERDAM yesterday.But it would have been better he contacted MR.TONY JONES before departing for AMSTERDAM so as to enable MR.TONY JONES notify him in details what he will be require to do upon arrival to AMSTERDAM.All the same,it will still be okay if he contact MR.TONY JONES upon arrival to AMSTERDAM.

I want you to be rest assured that MR.DEAN is very much safe in his travelling to AMSTERDAM.Be also assured that he is travelling to AMSTERDAM to bring in our funds into the USA for investment,so he is very safe.I have also email MR.DEAN yesterday that he should endearvour to contact me immediately he arrive AMSTERDAM so that he can be giving me the development as regards his dealing with MR.TONY JONES.I am still waiting for his contact,hopefully,he will contact me when he arrive AMSTERDAM.

We will surely achieve success in JESUS NAME.

Please email me to acknowledge the receipt of this mail.

Best Regards,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top


"JESUS NAME"? What the...?



BIG UPDATE!
Sorry that I haven't done an update in a while. However, there is quite a bit of activity.
My friend went to Amsterdam and called the number from a payphone twice. The first time, there was no answer. The second time, he left a message from "Dean Cameron".

He didn't push it as, well, these guys are dangerous. So. No contact...

From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2003 12:18 PM
To: dean-mightycheese.com
Subject: ARE YOU STILL IN AMSTERDAM?.

DEAR SIR,
I AM VERY SURPRISED AND UPSET WITH THE CONTENTS OF YOUR MAIL.I BELIEVE YOU ARE THE CAUSE FOR MR.TONY MORGAN NOT TO RETURN YOUR CALL.YOU WERE SURPOSE TO CONTACT MR.TONY MORGAN BEFORE YOU DEPART FOR AMSTERDAM,NOW WE DONT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR CONSIGNMENTS IN AMSTERDAM ANYMORE.
WHERE YOU ABLE TO CONTACT MR.TONY MORGAN WHEN YOU ARRIVE AMSTERDAM?WHAT WAS THE DISCUSSIONS YOU HAD WITH HIM AND WHY DID HE NOT RETURN YOUR CALL?NOW HOW DO YOU WANT MY MOTHER TO FEEL THAT YOU ARE UNABLE TO CLEAR OUR FUNDS IN AMSTERDAM.SHE IS GOING TO FEEL VERY BAD BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR GOOD NEWS FROM YOU THAT YOU HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CONCLUDE EVERYTHING WITH MR.TONY MORGAN AND THAT THE CONSIGNMENTS IS IN YOUR POSSESION,BUT I'M SURPRISE NOW TO RECEIVE A NEGATIVE RESPONSE FROM YOU MEANING WE ARE STILL IN STAND STILL IN THIS PROJECT.
PLEASE TRY AND CALL MR.TONY MORGAN TO CONCLUDE WITH HIM AND COLLECT OUR CONSIGNMENTS FROM HIM.
EMAIL ME IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL.
BEST REGARDS, IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top
You may have noticed that Ibrahim changed a name. "Dean" noticed, too...

From: "dean cameron" dean mightycheese.com
To: "ibrahim abacha" ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: ARE YOU STILL IN AMSTERDAM?.
Date: Wed, 21 May 2003 16:54:02 -0700

WHO IS TONY MORGAN?!?!?! YOU SAID TONY JONES!? TONY JONES!?! TONY JONES!??!?! WHO IS TONY MORGAN!??! I CAN NOT KEEP TRACK OF THE NAMES?!?!?! VICTOR SMITH!!?! TONY JONES!? WHO IS HE!?!
I AM SO LONELY AND SAD AFTER BEING PRODDED IN CANADUH! I WAS IN AMSTERDAMN, HOPPED UP ON PENNICILLIN AND VICODIN AND CALLED TONY JONES!!! WHO IS TONY MORGAN!?!? I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO COME TO AMSTERDANG AGAIN!!!
WHY DO YOU HOLD YOUR MOTHER'S COOCHIE FROM ME, YOU PERSON!!!!
GET PAYPAL! I WILL SEND YOU MONEY THROUGH PAYPAL AMIGO OF URETHRA!!!
I HAVE ALREADY TRANSFERED THE MONEY WITH DR. ABOYAMI! HE HAS PAYPAL! I EASILY SENT HIM 5,000US THREE WEEKS AGO FROM THE COMPUTER LAB AT THE HOSPITAL IN CANASSDA!
PLEASE TELL DR. ABOYOMI TO CONTACT ME!!! I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HIM IN NEARLY THREE WEEKS!!!!
WHERE IS MY PUSSY!?
---
DEAN

top
From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2003 3:57 AM
To: dean@mightycheese.com
Subject: MR.TONY MORGAN IS THE NEW OFFICER IN CHARGE OF THE CONSIGNMENTS.

Dear Sir,
Thanks for your mail response.MR.TONY MORGAN is now the one in charge of our consignments in AMSTERDAM.MR.TONY JONES has been retired after many years of service with the security company.Now MR.TONY MORGAN is now the person in charge of our consignments.
I have already contacted MR.TONY MORGAN who is now in charge of our consignments and had discussions with him on how he can help us in other to ensure you receive the consignments on our behalf.He has therefore requested for your email address from me and I have given it to him.He will contact you any time from now to let you know the easiest possible way you can receive the consignments on our behalf without you travelling to AMSTERDAM anymore.So please be at alert with your email box as MR.TONY MORGAN is going to contact you to let you know how you are going to receive the consignments.
I dont have a paypal account,but I can arrange for an account for you to send me and my mother some money to be taking care of ourselves if you give me the permission.Now I want you to give me the permission to send you the account details where you can transfer some money to us.As soon as you permit me,I will send you the account details immediately.
Thanks and ALLAH bless you,
IBRAHIM ABACHA.

top
Nicely done, Ibrahim. It was time for a broken Dean to send a message to Mariam.

Mister Tony Jones did not return my call.
I weep.
Fortunately, I will be able to assist DR. Donald Abayomi.
Oh, my Mariam, where are you, sweet!? Who is this louse, Tony Jones, who does not care for you!?

Mariam's reply...

From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Sunday, May 25, 2003 11:57 AM

To: Dean Cameron

Subject: Reply me immediately.

My Dearest Dean Cameron,

I hope you are fine with your family. I am really very surprised that there is still no progress in this project which I hope it would have been completed long ago.I keep on wondering why you refuse to contact Mr.Tony Jones as you were instructed before you travel to Amsterdam if really you actually travelled to Amsterdam as you said.

My son told me that he has clearify to you about the new officer who has taken the position of Mr.Tony Jones in Amsterdam and I hope it was clear to you. Now I also understand that this new officer can bring the boxes of the funds to you in USA meaning you dont have to travel to Amsterdam again. My son told he has given the new officer called Mr.Tony Morgan your email address so that he can contact you and discuss about on how everything will goes to you,has he contacted you? if yes have you reply his mail?

please let me know.

Reply me immediately you receive this mail.

Thanks and ALLAH bless you,
Dr.Mrs.Mariam Abacha.

Time for the good Doctor to chime in... Strange how that happens right after Dean mentioned the 5k sent to Dr. Abayomi.

From: DR.DONALD ABAYOMI [mailto:drda@fastermail.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2003 4:48 AM
To: dean mightycheese.com
Subject: DR.DONALD ABAYOMI,LONG TIME.

Hello my good friend,
This is Dr.DONALD ABAYOMI writing you.Long time not hearing from you,I hope you and your family are well. Regarding our transaction,there is a great progress as you can know.Upon receipt of your response,I will give you more details on how everything will go now.

Waiting to hear from you as soon as possible.

Regards,
Dr.Donald Abayomi.

At this point, I began working on staging this correspondence at the Sacred Fools Theater in Los Angeles, so my attention was on editing it down to a manageable size. (more on the show later)
Naturally, Mariam got worried...

From: abacha marian [mailto:marianabachauk002@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2003 12:01 PM
To: Dean Cameron
Subject: OHHHH MY LOVE,WHY HAVE YOU KEET ME IN SILENCE FOR SO LONG?????????????

OHH MY LOVE,

HOW ARE YOU AND FAMILY HOPE ALL IS WELL.I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU FOR SOME TIME NOW, WHAT IS GOING ON?OR YOU NOT GOING TO HELP ME AGAIN? YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE NOW,PLS DO NOT LET MY DREAM OF COMING TO AMERICA TO LIVE WITH YOU BE DISORGANISED.I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ALLAH WILL NOT BE HAPPY IF THE PROMISE YOU MADE TO ME IS NOT FULFILLED.WHAT SO EVER THAT HAPPEN IN THE PAST SHOULD BE LEFT IN THE PAST,SINCE WE DID NOT SURPORT THE SECURITY COMPANY NOT RETURNING YOUR CALL WHEN YOU WENT TO AMSTERDAM.

MY SON IBRAHIM TOLD ME THAT THE SECURITY COMPANY HAS AGREE TO SEND THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOU DIRECTLY TO YOUR HOME ADDRESS, WHY DON'T YOU LET'S DO IT THAT WAY. I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE.

MY LOVE, ALLAH WILL NOT BE HAPPY IF YOU IGNOR THIS MASSAGE.NOTE THAT I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH.

THANKS AND ALLAH GUID YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

REGARDS,
DR.MRS MARIAM ABACHA

I staged a short version of the correspondence so far at Sacred Fool's "Crime Scene". It's now officially called "Dean Cameron's Nigerian Spam Scam Scam". It went over quite well. Victor Isaac played Mariam and Ibrahim. Another talented friend read one of the Donald Abayomi letters. Then Victor, as Ibrahim, added the "Faux Donald".

At the end of the show, I passed around a UPS envelope to the audience of about 100 people and explained that I wanted to take the correspondence to the next level. "Anything you put in the envelope, I'll send to Nigeria."

It's not cheap sending a package to Nigeria... $62 later, here is a photo of the contents and the letter enclosed to Andrew Desmond Osho from Perry Mason.

click to enlarge

The letter: HELLO MY GUSTY FRIENDS! HERE ARE THE ITEMS YOU WANTED!

4 ONE DOLLAR BILLS (SORRY ABOUT THE GUM!)
LIP BALM
MINTS
UNDERSTUDY NOTICE
LOLLIPOP
TORN CARD
CAMEL CIGARETTE
YOGI TEA
JAPANESE PHONE CARD
LISTERINE BREATH STRIPS
MOVIE TICKET STUB
CHEWED UP PLASTIC STRAW
CROUTON/CRACKER & PRETZEL (2)
ACE OF SPADES
CROSSWORD PUZZLE
TOOTHBRUSH
CRIME SCENE SCRIPT PAGE
LITTLE GREEN ALIEN GUY
COFFEE BEAN AND TEA LEAF CARD
MOTIVATIONAL HAPPINESS CARD
FREE ADMISSION TO LAS VEGAS SHOW AT THE FLAMINGO
THROAT COAT TEA
HARLEY DAVIDSON SWEEPSTAKES TICKET
BAND-AID
SUNCOAST CASINO CARD FOR LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
FLIER FOR AN EVENING OF IMPROVISATION WITH HENRY DITTMAN
PODIATRIST APPT. CARD
RED LOBSTER GIFT CERT. HOLDER
28 CENTS IN CHANGE
SOME HAIR
FLIER FOR A SHOW ABOUT JEWISH PEOPLE
DENTYNE ICE GUM
NICORETTE GUM
TICKET STUB FOR "THE SHAPE OF THINGS"
THREE KEYS - PLEASE CONTACT ME REGARDING THESE KEYS; THEY HAVE MUCH TO DO WITH OUR DEAL

PLEASE TELL MARIAM THAT I BELIEVE SHE IS THE MOST CALIENTE OF ALL!

I LOVE YOU!

DEAN!

top
Then Perry sent e-mail to Ibrahim

From: perry_mason-thefelix.net
Sent: Thursday, July 24, 2003 7:17 PM
To: ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com
Subject: Mister DC Erkleberry

Greetings, Mister Abacha.

After several tantrums from my client, Dean Cameron, I have been directed to continue to finalize the deal.

Please understand that after Mister Cameron returned from Amsterdam, where there was no response from your agent, Tony Jones, I advised him to discontinue attempting to close this deal.

However, he seems smitten with someone who I believe is your mother. Is that correct?

This is also a way to keep him from adopting more cats.

No matter.

Today, my paralegal, DC Erkleberry, shipped a package to Andrew Desmond Osho.

The address the package was sent to was:
1B Toyin St
IKEJA LAGOS-NIGERIA

The UPS tracking # is:
46604395544

There is a letter (unsigned as it was dictated over the phone from Florida) from Mr. Cameron which lists the contents of the package.

There are three keys which are the most important contents. They have to do with three lockers and a deposit of $1800US.

Please contact me upon receipt of this package.

If you would do me the favor of assuring Mister Cameron that one Miriam Abacha is alive and well, it would make my life much easier.

Yours Truly
Borse Perry Mason
Mason/Marshall - Counselor At Law
The Felix

Had a crazy idea: What if Perry Mason tried to enlist Ibrahim, as Donald Abayomi, in a scheme to fuck Dean out of some money? What would that be like? From: perry_mason thefelix.net [mailto:perry_mason thefelix.net]
Sent: Friday, July 25, 2003 5:45 PM
To: drda@fastermail.com
Subject: Second Transaction with Mr. Cameron

Mister Donald Abayomi,

My client, Mister Dean Cameron, who you exchanged $2500 with earlier this year, has been doing business with a mister Ibrahim Abacha.

Apparently, you had warned Mr. Cameron about dealing with this man, and it seems that your warnings went unheeded but were, however, quite correct.

Yesterday, my paralegal sent a package to Mr. Abacha's broker, Andrew Desmond Osho in Ikeja Lagos, Nigeria containing, among other things, three keys to lockers in Florida, The Netherlands and Los Angeles containing over $5000.

I believe that Mr. Cameron is going slowly mad and it troubles me.

I have one other key and a duplicate to the key here in Los Angeles.

I would like to know if you are still interested in doing business.

This transaction, however, would be between you and me, sir. Mister Cameron does not need to be involved with this.

I do hope you understand.

In his descriptions of you, Mister Cameron has made you out to be a fine, trustworthy man. I know the speed of the previous payment to you was very quick and I am hopeful that this transaction will go as quickly.

Yours Truly
Borse Perry Mason
Mason/Marshall - Counselor At Law
The Felix

top

I didn't hear back from "Donald" or Ibrahim, so I sent a quick "howdy" to Mariam

From: dean cameron [mailto:dean mightycheese.com]
Sent: Saturday, July 26, 2003 1:00 PM
To: 'abacha marian'
Subject: RE: OHHHH MY LOVE,WHY HAVE YOU KEET ME IN SILENCE FOR SO LONG?????????????

Perry Mason sent your son some things. Where are you? Why do you keep me in sadland?

---
Dean Cameron

I was worried that I lost 'em. No response regarding the package for a few days... Then: Ibrahim writes to Perry!

From: ibrahim abacha [mailto:ibrahimabacha_ng@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, July 29, 2003 7:11 AM
To: perry_mason@thefelix.net
Subject: URGENT/CALL ME.

Dear Mister Mason,

Long long time not hearing from you and your client DEAN CAMERON.I have just received the package that was sent and everything inside the package are not useful to me or my mother.I have kept the three keys inside although I dont know the usefulness of the keys,please clearify very well on what to do with the keys.

For your information,my mother is not feeling fine for some time now because of the fact that there was no response from your client DEAN CAMERON for a very long time whom she love very well and not only that,our consignments has been returned back to NIGERIA because your client was unable to finanlise with MR.TONY JONES in Amsterdam who was formally in charge of the consignments when he travelled to AMSTERDAM.The consignments however are presently in TRANS ATLANTIC SECURITIES here in Nigeria.

I will email your client now also to let her know the present condition of my mother and everything generally,so do not worry.

Once again,my telephone number is 2348033262593.Just dial as it is right quoted,do not add or subtract any number and you will get through to me.I am waiting to receive your call.

Regards,
Ibrahim Abacha.

top

.
read the correspondence
you'll schnertz


are you in?
introducing: mister snickers!
call the son
kittykat photos!
are you serious, please?!
parentheticals, baraboo and a spastic colon
talking money
guacamole recipe
MIRIAM LOVES ME!
ibrahim, the son - cats acknowleged
phone phun and mister sterling
PHOTOS FROM MIRIAM!!
oh, right... the money!
we have the same couch!
geography lesson
paypal
mr. snickers got a haircut!
SEND MONEY NOW!
enter: the code
code rejected
mom gets impatient
wrong code and more impatience
more sterling and a reply
IBRAHIM CALLS (and more) - 2/12/03
two frantic email from Ibrahim - 2/12/03
IBRAHIM CALLS AGAIN! TWICE!! - 2/13/03
My reply: Introducing another scammer - 2/13/03
IBRAHIM TELLS ME THE OTHER GUY IS A FRAUD! - 2/14/03
The Spastic Colon is acting up - 2/14/03
Ibrahim Poses as the other Scammer! - 2/15/03
Ibrahim the reminds me not to trust Nigerians - 2/15/03
Ibrahim gets testy and sends a picture of money 2/18/03
A letter to the Faux second scammer - 2/18/03
An apology to Ibrahim and more confusion - 2/18/03
An itinerary
Things heat up - 2/19/03
A fax! - 2/20/03
Avocados returned and laying groundwork for fun - 2/20/03
Ibrahim means business, peeps - 2/20/03
"Fun With Code Names" section - 2/20/03
More code fun - 2/20/03
What is In-Shah-Allah? - 2/21/03
More nifty bogus photos! - 2/21/03
Ibrahim writes as Doctor Abayomi - 2/21/03
I reply to "Donald Abayomi - 2/21/03
Then reference my "Donald" letter to Ibrahim! - 2/21/03
"Donald" urges me to cooperate with Ibrahim. Sweet! - 2/22/03
Ibrahim is pissed and pulls no punches. Allah's mad, too! - 2/22/03
Miriam's Passport and some guilt - 2/23/03
"Dean" gets nutty - 2/24/03
"We will not break your heart! - 2/25/03
DHL and Kwan's teeth. - 2/25/03
Ibrahim is going to send a dollar. - 2/25/03
A letter from Perry Mason to Ibrahim. - 2/25/03
Ibrahim's Going To the Post Office - 2/26/03
Ibrahim's BACK FROM THE POST OFFICE! - 2/26/03
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it! - 2/28/03
CALL TONY SMITH GOD DAMNIT! - 3/01/03
Miriam's Worried - 3/04/03
Ibrahim's Worried, too! - 3/05/03
"Perry Mason" enlists Doctor Abayomi - 3/06/03
Dean writes to Miriam - 3/06/03
Perry Mason sends Ibrahim a picture of Mister Snickers - 3/06/03
Updates - Back on the Hook - 5/12/03
Up to Date - 5/12/03
New lures... - 5/12/03
Mariam still loves me! - 5/12/03
Dean writes back about Amsterdam - 5/18/03
Ibrahim's reply - 5/18/03
PERRY MASON RETURNS! - 5/18/03
Ibrahim's respectful of Perry - 5/18/03
Big Update - 7/29/03
Ibrahim confuses dean - 5/21/03
Ibrahim digs himself out of a mistake - 5/22/03
Dean's plea to Mariam Abacha - 5/22/03
Mariam replies to Dean - 5/25/03
Donald Abayomi returns! - 6/05/03
Mariam guilts Dean some more! - 6/16/03
Perry sends a Package to Nigeria for Dean - 7/24/03
Perry sends Ibrahim a note regarding the package - 7/24/03
Perry invites Donald Abayomi to screw Dean out of his money! - 7/25/03
Dean to Mariam - 7/26/03
They're back on the hook! - 7/29/03

©dean cameron